Listen and Let Be

We have been talking extensively about listening in one of my nursing classes. It's something that I have come to realize is not as easy as it seems. This has become obvious at clinical. It's much easier to try to fix someone's problems than to trust uncertainty. This is a poem that is in one of our textbooks that I really appreciated.

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask, is that you listen,
not talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap - 10 cents will get you both Dear Abby
and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

And I can do that for myself; I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you
and can get about the business of understanding what's behind
this irrational feeling.

And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand.

So, please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn;
and I'll listen to you.

Anonymous

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

A lot has happened since my last update:

- Erik and I attended a friend's wedding.
- My family celebrated Christmas together.
- My mother turned 55.
- Erik and I drove to Lake Benton, Minnesota to visit his sister and her family. We stopped at Mt. Rushmore on the way.
- My sister got married in Costa Rica.
- I returned to Kelowna.
- I celebrated my 21st Birthday.
- Classes have started up.
- I bought my first pair of scrubs.
- I have started my Clinical Practicum.

First, Lake Benton was wonderful! We got to meet the newest addition to Erik's family and spend time playing with his two-year-old nephew. We experienced a Minnesota wind storm and had plenty of time to relax.




Lindsey and Adrian were married in Costa Rica on December 29. My parents flew out for the occasion and had a wonderful time.
Erik is visiting me now in Kelowna so I am going to go spend some time with him.