feetsies

More to Come

I just had to quickly post this picture to show you how Sawyer and Maelle match up. We have a ladies brunch on Friday so we will be taking more pictures, but look at this! Erik took the picture that's why it's not the best :)

Sawyer is 3.5 months and Maelle is 1 week.

Hike up Knox Mountain

I hate being reminded of just how out of shape I am. Erik and I hiked up Knox Mountain with Mandi and Sawyer yesterday and it was awful! I felt like vomiting and I was huffing and puffing all the way up. Mandi was carrying Sawyer in her sling and she did a better job than I did. Ridiculous. She's two years younger than me and I pretend that makes all the difference - never mind the fact that she had a baby 3 months ago.

This is about half way up... if that. Look at all the smoke! We don't have any fires in Kelowna, but there are (apparently) a bunch surrounding us.

Bean needed a break part way up (Auntie did too, but wouldn't admit it). We aired her out half way up. Isn't she cute?

Love this girl. Love her.

Trying to face outward in her sling. Looks nice and cozy! I love when it looks like they have rubber bands around their wrists.

It apparently didn't work too well. Don't worry, she wasn't being choked... I checked many times. She was happy just to chew on her mama's hand.

I know this isn't a good picture of either of us, but I wanted to show you how much smoke their is. It was worse last year because the fires were closer, but check it out.

I got to snuggle with Sawyer on the way down the mountain. We took the road back because we didn't want to slip down the hill... there were parts that were quite steep. We snuggled chest to chest though so Bean didn't slide out like on the way up :)

Maelle's Blanket

Milena and I went to pick out yarn for this blanket a couple days after finding out Milena was pregnant. It is made of 100% organic cotton and it feels absolutely lovely!

I thoroughly enjoyed knitting it even though the pattern is monotonous. I'm sure I have said it before, but there is something soothing about knitting while thinking of the little one you are knitting for. I loved it.

I decided to crochet the border around it to save time. I love how it looks. 

Snuggling with the little one you knit it for is the very best part of making something though. The very best.

proud of her

I need to devote a little post entirely to my dear friend, Milena.

I am so impressed with her - she was phenomenal throughout her labour. Phenomenal. She was so focused and determined yet she was able to smile between her contractions and even laugh throughout her labour. She was calm and relaxed and never lost her temper. She was very specific when she needed anything and requests were always followed up with "please" and "thank you". She was positive throughout the experience and never complained about anything. She was incredible! She took direction well and remained as mobile as she could. She would change positions instantly if I encouraged her too and stayed upright as much as she could. She took each contraction one at a time and never lost focus.

I could not be more proud of her.

Milena's Labour - Part 3 - The Hospital

So, we were now on our way to the hospital. The midwife had told Milena that baby’s heart rate was still good so we could continue laboring the same way at the hospital – the pediatrician just needed to be present for the actual delivery. Milena and I did some squats together amidst the flurry of activity around us – everyone packing.
 
Once at the hospital, Milena was connected to the monitors so we could see how baby was responding to the contractions. Sitting on the birthing ball was her position of choice so she laboured like that for the next three or four hours, at which time the midwife did another internal exam.

Milena’s cervix had remained at 8cm, unfortunately, and the midwife consulted the obstetrician on call. He came and examined Milena as well and gave her two options:

1.      She could have an epidural and see if it relaxed her enough to allow the baby to descend.

2.      She could have a cesarean section.

He recommended the latter as the baby was posterior and unlikely to descend at all. The problem with the epidural and continuing to labour was that at some point the baby could (or in his opinion, would) become stressed and an emergency cesarean section would be required.

The obstetrician left and gave Milena and Sam some time to talk about their options. By this time Milena was miserable. She was so discouraged by the lack of progression and was both emotionally and physically exhausted.

They decided that they had done everything they could and it would probably be best to have the cesarean. The midwife said that the obstetrician they consulted was the one least likely to offer cesarean sections and that she valued his opinion and respected his decisions. This was reassuring for both Milena and Sam as they had worked hard to get to where they were at in the labour.

The obstetrician had to perform another cesarean section before getting to Milena’s so we had to wait just over an hour for her to be called. This was a very difficult hour for Milena as she had trouble focusing through contractions once the cesarean had been decided on. She tried using the laughing gas, but it wasn’t working in the room we were in.

While we were waiting to be called to the OR, everyone left the room for a while expect for me, Milena and her sister. I crawled in bed beside her and held her close as the contractions took over her body. I snuggled with her and whispered encouragement in her ear during and between contractions. She was so exhausted.
The nurses finally did come to take her away.

I went to the waiting room (more like an alcove) with the auntie and grandmas.

Sam eventually came up following the pediatrician who had a sweet little baby in his arms. They went into the nursery and w sat waiting for a little bit longer. One of the nurses came to the nursing station and told us we had a big baby on our hands. Baby weighed in at 10lb and 9oz! The nurse didn’t tell us the gender of the baby though.

Sam’s dad and sisters arrived just as they were allowed into the nursery to meet the baby. I stayed in the waiting room for a bit contemplating just going home – it was a time for the family to be with the baby and I didn’t want to interrupt.

The midwife came out and told me they had a baby girl and that she was doing marvelously. She said the obstetrician requested mama and babe have skin-to-skin time whiled he sutured her up – a rarity. Baby is usually wrapped and brought to mama, but they got to spend some time snuggling before baby was wrapped up. Very cool.

I was about to leave unnoticed when Milena’s mom grabbed me and told me I had to go see the baby. I was not about to defy a new grandma so I poked my head in the nursery and gave the sweet baby girl a kiss on the forehead before saying goodnight to the family. Milena wasn’t going to be out of recovery for at least another hour so I decided to go home.

I came back later that day at around 7pm to see how Milena was doing and to get a chance to meet and hopefully hold the baby. Baby was in the nursery and it was almost shift change so we weren’t allowed to hold her. Milena and I walked down anyway and she introduced me to her baby girl, Maelle Mai.

I finally got to hold Maelle at around 9:00pm when she was 16.5 hours old. I felt like I had been waiting forever. Forever. And I essentially had been – Milena called me up a few hours after she found out she was pregnant.

Poor Sam and Milena really had an experience in the hospital. Being a large baby, the nurses were worried about Maelle’s blood sugars so she was kept in the nursery for observation for a couple days and they continually tried to “top her up” with formula after feeds. Maelle refused to drink the formula and would spit it out. She nursed like a champ from the very first feed. She latches instantly and drinks so much you would think she’s a bottomless pit.

She had mild jaundice on the second day so she had a stint in under UV light.

It wasn’t until the third day that Sam and Milena were finally able to have Maelle in their room. I came to visit before work that evening and walked in to see Maelle sleeping in her cot next to Milena. I burst into tears because I was so excited for them. Sam came rushing in because he heard us crying and though something was wrong, but I assured him that nothing was. We were just so happy that they could all be together.

They were discharged the next morning and are now joyfully adapting to life with a little one.

Milena's Labour - Part 2 - The Birthing Suite

The castor oil finally cleared from Milena’s system around the time we transferred to the birthing suite and her contractions were becoming much more manageable for her. They remained 2-8 minutes apart, but Milena was finally beginning to relax during the contractions, allowing her uterus to do the work uninhibited.

We started our time off in the suite with a shower (I was fully clothed) before going into the tub because the shower water wasn’t heating up. The tub was very comforting for Milena. The water relieved some of the weight she was feeling and the warmth was soothing for her.

I poured water over her back and belly (depending on how she was sitting) and we breathed through contractions together. The chiropractor at some point in the tub and worked on Milena’s back and hips – very cool.

 Milena took the contractions like a champ. She remained calm and focused and took direction well the entire time. She was vocal and made a low droning sound with each contraction. I enjoyed this as I could gauge how she was handling the contraction by how low her drone was. When the sound was low and relaxed, she was relaxed. When it was higher and forced, she wasn’t. When it was low and forced she was trying her hardest to relax. When Milena was relaxed the sound was so soothing - it relaxed all of us.

There were times that she would forget to take nice deep breaths in and I would have to remind her and make loud sucking in noises so that she would match my breaths in – which she did incredibly. She was amazing! Seriously. She would be droning high and I would quietly as her to deepen it and she would instantly do it. I would remind her to take a deep breath in for baby and she would. I was so impressed with her.

 When the bath water cooled off we headed to the bed so she could get some much needed rest. The contractions only let up slightly when she was lying down, but she managed to get a bit of rest between them.
Milena was feeling a lot of back pressure so one of us pushed in a strong downward motion against her lower back with each contraction. She sometimes wanted this coupled with another one of us pushing in at the hips and one of us obviously needed to be near her face talking softly to her.

We spent a lot of the day rocking together. She would have her arms around my neck and I would push on her lower back and we would sway back and forth breathing and chanting together. It was such an honor and a privilege to be there supporting her. So incredible.

Sam had been on duty for the previous two days of pre-labour/early labour so he was exhausted and needing sleep. I was impressed that he took the time to take care of himself. I know it was hard for him because he wanted to support Milena, but he needed to be there later for her so he did sleep. She was relieved and relaxed more knowing that he was taking care of himself.

The midwife came back to examine Milena at some point and found that she was 5 cm and 90% effaced. This was so encouraging for Milena as progress was now visible. We jumped in the shower together (I now had my bathing suit on) and laboured in there for a long while. Milena sat on the birthing ball and I held the shower head over her back between contractions. During contractions, she would remain sitting, but would wrap her arms around my neck and rock with me. I tried desperately to maintain good posture, but to no avail. I alternated squatting in front of her and bending down at the waist during contractions.

Milena did a wonderful job remaining mobile and upright as much as possible. She felt good despite the contractions and was determined to do everything she could to help her baby. She prayed throughout her labour and asked me to pray for specific things at times. During some contractions she would ask me to explain exactly what was happening in her body. She remained focused on baby and on why things were happening and she never once complained. Not once. And she never said she couldn’t do it. She was so brave.

At around 9pm Milena was checked again and found to be 8 cm dilated, but baby’s head was not descending so the midwife said it would be advisable to break Milena’s water. The midwife was able to stretch the cervix the last two cm so breaking the water may allow the baby’s head to come down and push the last two cm out of the way.

There was meconium in the amniotic fluid so the midwife advised a transfer to the hospital. This was disappointing, but Milena and Sam knew it was best for the baby so we packed up to leave yet again.

Milena's Labour - Part 1 - Labouring at home.

I don’t know how far I will get, but I thought I would get a start on the story of Maelle’s birth. I will start by saying that it was long and hard – the complete opposite of Mandi’s labour and Sawyer’s birth.

Contractions started for Milena on Saturday (July 24) at 5am - they mild, irregular, and lasted 2 to 5 minutes each. They came anywhere from 10 minutes to 1.5 hours apart and Milena was handling them quite well. As the day progressed the contractions got a bit more intense and Milena needed to stop what she was doing and had her hubby apply pressure to her hips.

She called me Sunday morning (July 25) and asked me to stay with her while our husbands went to play their instruments in church. I gladly obliged... obviously. The house was quite full with Milena mother, sister and mother-in-law all visiting, but it is lovely to have so much family so close.

We escaped to the solitude of Milena's room and she rested in bed for a while. She even managed to get an hour and half sleep in before bolting out of bed (quite a feat for a woman 42 weeks pregnant) and resting on the window sill while we rocked and I put pressure on her hips.

Contractions (or "rushes") continued to be irregular all day, but we made the best of it. When Sam came home we both took a hip as I discovered that holding constant pressure for 4 minutes can be quite challenging.

We enjoyed a yummy lunch together and even went swimming in the lake. Milena's little sister treated us all to ice cream from the ice cream truck (a first for me!!). Milena had two contractions while we were swimming and we took our positions and supported her through them. I really enjoyed how she managed to carry on life and take the contractions as they came. I think it's easy to get so focused on the fact that labour is starting and to put everything else on hold... which makes it seem so much longer. Waiting is an awful thing.

We came home and ate some dinner and then we just hung out for a while before I went home to bed. I was scheduled to work Monday at the hospital, but Milena called me at 5:45am telling me her contractions were now all within 30 minutes of each other and they were now only 2- 3 minutes long, but stronger. So I called work and let them know that I wouldn't be coming in (my manager already had a heads up). Milena took a castor oil concoction to try to speed things up because she didn’t want to be induced at the hospital on Wednesday.

After Milena took the castor oil she started having contractions every 2-8 minutes. They were increasing in intensity and difficult for Milena to manage. We laboured on the toilet for a couple hours – Milena would wrap her arms around my neck and we would rock back and forth while she remained sitting.

Milena was unable to relax during these contractions, but she managed to smile and joke between them. She started panicking a little bit because the contractions were quite intense and she was unable to control herself during them, but she took direction well and was easily redirected.

The midwife came to Milena’s house at 11:00am at our request so she could examine Milena to see where she was at. We were told she was 2 cm and 70% effaced – pretty much at the same place Milena was at 4 days ago.

This was disheartening and Milena began to worry that her body wouldn’t work properly. I prayed with her and encouraged her telling her that each contraction was preparing her body even if the numbers didn’t show it yet. She remained positive and looked forward to transferring to the Midwives suite where she had planned to deliver.

Lovely

This is how I spent my afternoon:

And my evening:

I'd say it was a good day.

Love.This.Girl

Little Bean came for a visit again this past weekend. I love her!! She is such a fun age - so snuggly and starting to interact. She's just over 3 months now.

Erik is so good with her though he is terrified of her spitting up breast milk. She has gotten into this licking phase. We were shopping with her and she licked my shoulder the entire time!!! Erik wasn't so excited when I passed her off to him and she proceeded to lick his t-shirt. I think it's super cute though - who doesn't love a little baby tongue?

This girl LOVES her sling. She loves being wrapped up and going for walks. When she is cranky or won't go down for a nap I just throw her in the sling and we go for a little jaunt around the neighborhood. When it is extra warm we just walk around my basement suite as it is nice and cool.

Sawyer has been standing for a while now (when you hold her arms). When you hold her around the chest she just wobbles and plays with her arms, but when you hold her hands she automatically pulls them into her mouth. It is super cute. It's a little game we like to play. I think it hilarious seeing someone so short standing up - she reaches just above my knees. It is amazing how quickly her neck has strengthened. She used to bobble a lot, but that went away so fast.

Her mommy just got her a Bumbo. She adores it. She loves being upright unless she is really sleepy. She always snuggles upright and has recently taken to preferring facing outward when she is awake as she likes to know what is going on in the world.

K. Look at her chubby sweetness. I love her rolly polly arms. And her cheeks that dangle below her little pointy chin. And I love all her cute clothes. Who knew it would be so fun to dress up a baby? I secretly prefer onesies to anything else.... Summer is a little too warm for those though. That's why sleepovers are the best - I get to snuggle with her in onesies. Delightful.

And of course, smiles for Auntie. Man, she is cute. I can't wait to get pictures of her and Maelle together. Maelle's hands and feet are longer than Sawyer's. It's hilarious. Sawyer's are like little dimpled sausages compared Maelle's are these long gangly things. Very cute.

PS. I will write about Milena's labour and Maelle's birth in the near future. I am between night shifts right now and do not have the energy at the moment.

Allow Me to Introduce

Maelle Mai

Born July 27, 2010 at 0429

Weight: 10lb 9 oz

Height: 22.8 inches

Yummmm

Toast + Mayo + Tomato + Avocado + S&P = YUMMM

Cabbage + Red Pepper + Basil + Olive Oil + Lemon Juice + Red Wine Vinegar = YUMMM

Dress #2

Yes Ma'am. I am making another dress. This one is going much quicker. I just finished casting off and I am so glad that I am almost finished it. All I need to do is tie up all the loose ends and find some buttons for it (this part is the worst). I always say I am going to stitch in my ends while I knit, but I always leave it to the end, at which point it is painful and takes forever.

The color in the photo is way off because I took the picture just now and our basement suite has the worst lighting. It's actually a really cute pink. I'll have to get a better picture when then whole thing is finished.

I feel a little more confident in my knitting abilities. I'm thinking of jumping into another pattern right away. I haven't decided what yet - maybe more baby clothes or a shawl for myself. We'll have to see. 

random

My little niece, Hailey Jade, is already one month old! I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I know I've already posted a bunch of pictures of her, but these are just too cute. They're from my visit home a couple weeks ago. Look at how aware she is in this first one! What a little pumpkin.

I miss her. I wish I could visit and snuggle with her whenever I please, but I sadly cannot. Look at how sweet she is smiling in her sleep. So so so cute.

And of course... kisses from Auntie.
 As you can tell, I don't have much to write about. I have had six shifts at the hospital as a paid employee!! Yippee. Finally making some money as an Employed Student Nurse. It's a bit strange and I am constantly nervous, but this will hopefully make my transition into being a full-fledged nurse a little bit easier. Next summer... it's coming up quickly.

Still random, I know, but the above picture is of a painting at a little pub Erik and I went to in Bellingham before he went to Alaska. I think it is neat. I actually loved it.

Speaking of Erik and Alaska... he is finally home!! And it is so very nice! We haven't had much time together as we've both had to work, but I'm so glad he's back! I forgot how often I wake up at night having someone else in bed - I wake up every time he rolls over, when the covers are pulled off or put back on, and when I realize I'm not alone. I don't feel as well-rested when I wake up, but it's worth it - he's home!

sweet cheeks

This little lady has some seriously sweet cheeks.

sorry, i just spat this out

Erik and I had been talking about my role as a "doula" before he left for Alaska. I have no official training and very little experience so I sometimes wonder what I am doing. After all, I have never given birth and I have only witnessed 12 births (aside from cesareans), playing an active role in just 5 of them. What qualifies me? What do I have to offer? What role do I play?

My fascination, does that qualify me?? Hardly. My reading? Sure I've read a lot of books, but you quickly learn that books don't make you good at something. Experience is HUGE! My personality? How does that help?

The truth is, I actually think I have a lot to offer. Yes, I have a lot to learn, but I also think I have a lot to offer. I provide a calm presence in labor and delivery. I trust the human body and value medical intervention when necessary. Emphasis on the word necessary.  I am very supportive and encouraging. I am intuitive and assist mothers before they even realize they need something. I am acutely aware that it is not my birth experience, but it is the families and I will do anything to make them feel validated and in control.
 
I think I would only ever "doula" for friends because I think my relationship with them is integral to my ability to help them. Take S and M for example. Their little one is due tomorrow and I have been eagerly awaiting a call telling me it's go-time. We have been friends for almost two years and they are some of my closest friends in K-town. We have developed trust and see eye-to-eye on most things. They know they can trust me to do anything to help them. We've been discussing their expectations of the birth itself and have all agreed that you can only prepare so much.

The truth is, you can never really be sure what to expect. Every mother is different. Every labor is different. Every couple has different strengths and weaknesses. People communicate differently. Everyone has different expectations. You never really know what will happen.

I had no idea what to expect when Mandi went into labor. No idea whatsoever. I did not know how she wanted to be supported or how she would react to labor. I did not know what she would need from me or how Kevin would support her. I did not know what to expect, but we worked well together. We adapted as labor changed and as needs changed. We took every change as a challenge and worked with it, rather than against it. We were fearless rather than fearful. We trusted the process.

And I think that is key. Trusting the process even when you are uncertain or even terrified. Working with the changes rather than fighting against them.

When I have assisted with births I try to interfere as little as possible. If things are going well and I can tell the mother is coping, than I sit back and follow their lead. When I can tell that they have lost their rhythm and are not coping well, I help them get it back and then take a back seat again. Sometimes it is as easy as holding their face and having them breathe with me, having them change positions (which sometimes takes a lot of convincing), or redirecting their focus. And other times they cannot regain their rhythm and every contraction requires my active attention and intervention.

But I really just like to fill in the gaps. Mama and Papa are the main event and I am only there as needed. I like offering the papa support so that he can help the mama and I prefer doing this without directing or even suggesting if possible. In my experience, some dad's won't participate if you do and in those cases I suggest or gently direct, but there are also dad's who will follow your lead. In those cases I will rub a woman's back a certain way or speak softly and the dad joins me. After he joins me I peter off and allow him to take the lead. I like to take a backstage role... make sure things are happening while not being seen.

I feel like this is a bit of verbal diarrhea. I apologize for that, but this is all I've got for today.

P[rom] K[ing]

These are pictures of pictures my MIL has. Please take note that a. the lighting was bad. b. i don't have a steady hand. and c. my camera was not the best. Now that you've taken note, get past that and look at how darn cute these pictures are.

Look at him! What a stud.

Sport'n the red all-stars. And check out that suit jacket... impressive.

Seriously, I love him! Do you think he could pull this look off anymore? Let me tell you, I'm a fan. He's a total babe.

what i woke up to

I worked last night and didn't end up going to bed until 0830 this morning.
I woke up to voices a few hours later.
Now, sound travels excessively well in our house.
I can almost hear entire conversations upstairs.
I was mildly annoyed at being woken up at 1100, but that is what happens when you live in a basement suite.
I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep.
Then I realized the voices weren't only in my house...
But they were in my suite.

Right outside my bedroom door in fact.
People were in my basement suite.
I wracked my brain thinking of who would come uninvited into my house...
But there were too many voices.
There were what sounded like six individuals scoping out my basement suite.
This isn't entirely unusual.
After all, the house we live in is for sale.
But I didn't get a message.
I wasn't expecting company.
I was sleeping.
And it looked like a bomb had gone off in my house.
Which is typical.
That wasn't my concern.
I was in my bed and there were people I did not know walking around my house.

So what did I do?
First, I covered my barely clothed body.
(Did I mention it reached 38 degrees yesterday).
Then,
Well... I thought of jumping out of bed and hiding under it...
Or wedging myself as far as I could I guess.
But can you imagine if they went to the other side and saw me??
Me, pathetically lying on the ground trying to go unnoticed.
In my skivvies.
That would be mortifying.
Instead I used the oldest trick in the book.
The very best defense mechanism.

Play dead.

That's what I did.
I played dead.
I rolled over, tried to not blink and pretended to sleep.

They came into my bedroom, turned on the light, and chatted up a storm.
The first three people didn't even notice me.
Some random girl, lying on a bed, sweltering under a feather duvet because it's already 30 degrees out.
They chatted up a storm.
The next two people came in chatting, but shut up quickly.
They retreated without shutting my door.
They moved four feet away and didn't bother lowering their voices while they exclaimed,
"There's some girl in there!! A girl!"

I heard them sheepishly shut the door and climb the stairs to vacate my the premises.
And me...
I burst out laughing.

Want to know what the most amusing part for me was?
Aside from strangers letting themselves into my house and coming into my bedroom while I'm sleeping?
The most amusing part is that I was rather liberal with my flatus this morning.

After all,
I hadn't been expecting company.

as big as a pineapple

he called

He said he wouldn't, but he did. I was doing just fine before I picked up the phone and heard his voice. And now... now I miss him something fierce. I may have had a little almost-breakdown after talking to him. I kinda just want to watch movies and eat ice cream. Scratch that, I want fast food, candy, and a chick flick...

I think I'll settle for some knitting.

But it was so good to hear his voice.