Sleepover

I am currently having a sleepover with the most beautiful little girl in the world (hopefully mom and dad get some sleep). Both my arms and my heart are full.  I am in love with this little human being. So very much in love. 

 My first time holding her.  Less than one hour old.

Sawyer and her Daddy

 Team Sawyer. 

Later that same morning.

 Snuggles with mom. 

 Finally home!!

Oh how I missed her.

Being fed by syringe :(

Being born is tough work.

 

Amazing. Truly Amazing.

I had the pleasure and the privilege of welcoming little Sawyer Dawn into the world in the wee hours of the morning.

I. Am. In. Awe.

Rilke

Anxious, we keep longing for a foothold-
we, at times too young for what is old
and too old for what has never been;

doing justice only where we praise,
because we are the branch, the iron blade,
and sweet danger, ripening from within.

Rilke

Here She Is.

I finished this scarf a couple months ago and promised to show her to everyone. I took these pictures... about a month ago but I have been much too lazy to post them. Here they are, a little late for scarf season, but better late than never!

This is a close-up of the tassels. It's to show you how beautiful the colors are and how lovely the yarn is. It is so delightfully soft and silky. I can't get enough of it.

Here we are in the hallway of our new place. Isn't the wall lovely?

And one last one of the scarf... just because I love how the colors look in this one.

It Made Sense to Me

I once had a friend named Jessica. Jessica's family owned a little dog. I was terrified of dogs so I told Jessica's mother that I was allergic to them. Jessica's dog was locked in her parent's bathroom whenever I came over and I was only invited if she had just vacuumed. This went on for a year. Then Jessica's mother learned from my mother that I was not, in fact, allergic to dogs. I was just a scaredy cat. Embarrassing.

At least she didn't need to vacuum every time I came over... but she thankfully still locked up the dog.  

Three Weeks

I don't know if I have shared this yet, but two of my girlfriends (and their husbands) asked me to support them in their labor and delivery! They are both first-time parents and I am so very excited to share in this experience with them.

One of the sweet babes is due in just three weeks. I think the count is down to 18 days now. I cannot wait!

Mandi's doctor is in Vernon so we have been carpooling to her appointments together. Her appointments have been on days that I do not have classes so I have been able to make a few of them. It is fascinating to learn more about pregnancy, labor and delivery along with Mandi. Her doctor is phenomenal and very receptive to me being at the appointments and at the birth. I love the appointments even when all we do is listen to the baby's heartbeat and see how much he/she has grown (via the size of Mandi's belly). 

The more I learn about pregnancy, labor and delivery, the more excited I am to experience it for myself. I am amazed at what our bodies are capable of and how amazing the uterus is. Seriously! Amazing! My fear of labor and delivery is dispelled as I replace it with knowledge. Knowledge is power!!! Not that I am still not intimidated of the thought of the intensity of the pain/emotions.

I should probably clarify that I have no intention of becoming pregnant in the near future. Let's all remember that I still have a year of school left and then Erik needs (in his own words) a "sugar mama" for a while. That doesn't make me any less excited about having children of my own (the Lord willing).

Love, the soon-to-be Sugar-Mama

Glasgow Love Theme

This is the very song my niece played while my sisters and I walked down the aisle at my wedding. One of my favorite memories is standing at the top of the stairs with my sisters and my dad while my niece started playing this. It was so beautiful. She did a fabulous job! I didn't cry walking down the aisle, but I shed a tear or two standing there with my daddy and hearing the whole room grow silent as Jessie Bessie started playing this.

The song still makes my eyes well up with tears. I love it.

Absolutely Delish

I got this recipe off my SIL's blog. We cannot get enough of this bread. It is so absoLUTely delicious. We love having it with soup, applesauce, jam, hard boiled eggs, and plain old butter. Yummy!
 
Quick Whole Wheat and Molasses Bread

1 2/3 cups plain yogurt
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup molasses

Mix dry ingredients
Mix wet ingredients
Mix wet & dry together

In a 9 X 5 inch pan, bake @ 325 until a toothpick stuck into the center of the loaf comes out clean, about an hour. [30-40 minutes if setting aside half the batter and using a smaller loaf pan.] Cool on a rack for 15 minutes before removing from the pan. Serve.

"Easy" Money

Night shifts at the hospital are usually easy money. My patients often sleep for at least 6 hours of the shift giving me plenty of time to read and knit dishcloths for my kitchen.

This is what I had in mind, at least when I agreed to go into work at 11:00pm last night. My shifts are usually from  0700-1900 or from 1900-0700 so an eight hour shift sounded easy peasy to me. I didn't have a meeting until 12pm the next day so I would have a couple hours to sleep before needing to wake up and go.

I arrived at the hospital to find a little old man dressed in the hallway. He said he was going home, but I convinced him to take a walk with me around the hospital. We looped around the ward for a bit and then I persuaded him to go to bed as it was after midnight.

He was in bed for all of five minutes before my sweet little old man transformed into ... something else.

We eventually decided to walk to the TV room because he was disrupting the other three patients he shared a room with. We were there for all of ten minutes before one of the less friendly nurses told him he needed to go to bed. By the time my patient was back in his room he was not impressed. He was beyond not impressed. He started taking off his telemetry pack (heart monitor) and shouting in German. I asked the nursing student to get the charge nurse because I was not excited about where things were heading. I stepped into his room and was conscious about maintaining my distance, but I had to make sure that everyone in the room was safe.

We had thankfully just had self-defense/code white-ish training in class because my patient started getting aggressive and threatening. I was barely inside the door when my patient came at me swinging his telemetry pack. It smoked the wall beside me and broke.

I'm not going to lie. I may have been a little uncomfortable at this point. Maybe even scared. Yes, I had just been taught how to protect myself in this situation (you know, hands up, stable posture, ready to bolt), but we weren't taught what to do when a weapon was involved!

My patient thankfully stayed focused on me as he followed me outside while I slowly backed away towards the nursing station (I was worried he would attack his roommates). He kept swinging and yelling and the nurses called the code white. I continued backing up until I was at the nurses station where I was met by security guards and the code white team.

They were with the patient for an hour trying to de-escalate the situation. He even tried to deck the head of the code white team who tried to give him an injection.

One of the security guards stayed with him until the medication kicked in. That took an hour and a half. That was an hour and a half that I just sat in the nursing station doing whatever I could to help out on the floor.

After that I returned to the bedside, he remained sleeping for 15 minutes. His snoring neighbor woke him up and he decided he was not going to stay in bed anymore. He was not aggressive, but he was adamant about not remaining in his room so I timidly escorted him into the hall. I was a little uncomfortable and wary because I didn't want to make him angry. I hope that didn't show because I didn't want him to think he could get away with whatever he wanted. As we walked toward the TV room he tried to enter the other patient's rooms. I tried to redirect him, but he started getting frustrated with me. The charge nurse saw him getting upset so she called security to come sit with him again.

As soon as the security guards showed up he returned to being the sweet old man he was in the beginning. So, the security guard sat with him until 5am when he finally fell asleep and then I returned to my post at the bedside.

All-in-all it was a rather eventful night.

For myself

I decided that I needed a night to myself. Things have been crazy lately with school coming to a close and Erik works tonight so I thought I would take advantage of a night to myself. I went to our public library and browsed through books for an hour or so before checking out four novels because I wasn't sure which one I wanted to read. I am now curled up with my books and Chai tea and I'm planning on reading all night while listening to "Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain".

I.Can't.Stop.Dancing.

Try listening and not bouncing... even if it's only a little bounce. I know I can't stop myself.

Rhythm

I was having trouble sleeping (... and I'm still awake)... so I decided to pick up some knitting for a bit. It has been over three weeks since I last worked on anything; my knitting basket has been sitting neglected.

I felt all the tension inside of me release as I fell back into the rhythm of "in, around, out, over and off".

In, around, out, over and off.

In.

Around.

Out.

Over.

Off.

Dreamt For Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain

Erik showed me this yesterday. We sat in silence and listened to it on repeat. I would recommend taking ten minutes to sit and listen.
It is beautiful.

The Crownless Again Shall be King

All that is gold does not glitter,

    Not all those who wander are lost; 

The old that is strong does not wither,

    Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

    A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

    The crownless again shall be king.

Homemade Deodorant

I was driven to make some deodorant a couple weeks ago due to my stinky pits.

I haven't used the deodorant because it has yet to be a necessity again... Erik, on the other hand, uses it all the time. He finds that it gets rid of smells rather than just masking them. I think that means he likes it.

I'm not going to lie, I am glad he is getting use out of it, but I would sometimes rather my husband smell like Old Spice than lavender. I think it's time to find another scent.

Here is the recipe either way:

Homemade Deodorant

1/4 cup baking soda
1/4 cup arrowroot powder (or cornstarch)
5 TBSP coconut oil
essential oil to scent to your liking (I used lavender)

• Mix the baking soda and arrowroot powder (or cornstarch)
• Add the coconut oil and mash until well blended
• Add the essential oil and continue to mash
• Store in a covered glass container

Cast Iron Skillet and Laundry Detergent

Cast Iron Skillet - I have been seasoning my cast iron skillet this week. It was a wedding gift from my SIL and I had never used it because we didn't have our own kitchen. I am so excited for it! The more I read up on it the more I realize there is quite a learning curve involved and you need to get into your own groove. So we'll see how it goes. I searched out a butcher shop so I could get fat from them to season it with. I hear that's the best. So far it looks... different than when I started. I don't know what it's supposed to look like but it's kind of spotted.. more shiny in some areas than others... I'll have to post a picture so one of you can tell me if that's normal. 

Laundry Detergent - I recently made my own laundry detergent. It worked well. I think. I haven't really "tested" it as our clothes have yet to be muddy or visibly dirty. I am assuming (and trusting) that it will work. I used (as always) my SIL recipe for it. The recipe is originally from this site. 

Homemade Laundry Detergent -- Recipe:

• 1 cup grated soap
• 1/2 cup borax
• 1/2 cup washing soda (different from baking soda)

Amounts:

• 1 Tablespoon for regular loads
• 2 Tablespoons for heavily soiled loads

Erik did one load that smelled particularly delicious; I couldn't stop smelling the clothes. It turned out he put in almost half a cup of the detergent... WAY too much. No wonder it smelled so lovely.

And that is really all we have been up to. School has been sucking the life out of me. I have group meetings every day and homework on top of them. The next month is going to be hectic... but that's all I have left. One month. Then sweet summer break (which I will be sharing 9 weeks of practicum and working of course). I am so excited to be able to leave work at work though. I will have so much time to walk and craft and enjoy my husband and friends. That is what keeps me motivated.

So I may disappear for the next month... or I'll post more than ever. That is usually what happens when I get really busy. We will see. Please, don't expect much though. I don't have much to offer.

Honda Accord Vs. Toyota Tercel

I miss my Honda. I was most unhappy when I learned that my husband had purchased it, but I grew to love it. It was highly unreliable and we wasted our fair share of money on it, but it was lovely.

Some of the things I loved most about it were:

• The Automatic Seat Belt. Yup. Loved it.
• Four Doors. Most convenient.
• Trunk Space. It was deceptively roomy.
• Automatic Windows. I'm lazy, what can I say. I don't like reaching over the passenger seat to roll down the window when it is warm (yes. I drove home from school with both windows rolled down half-way. It was splendid!)
• Automatic Locks. Especially because the driver's door would only lock with the key aka never being locked out of your car. 
• Air conditioning. I am dreading the summer without it. Dreading it. 
• Manual Transmission. I really really really miss this. I love love loved it. 
• Fully functioning radio. The Tercel's back speakers don't work. 

Things I love about the Tercel:

• 58,000 km. 
• Has yet to break down. Enough said. 

Honda 8: Toyota 2 

The Mediterranean Market

I ventured into the Mediterranean Market today. It's this little store in Kelowna that is just wild! I seriously felt as though I had been transported to another country. I could barely understand the accents of most of the people in the store. Also, this place had everything I could never find anywhere else in Kelowna. I was in heaven! There were dutch treats galore! And delicious meat! And delicious pasta! And delicious bread! And delicious cheese! And an incredible amount of people yelling over each other to place their meat and cheese orders. There was rookworst (which I haven't actually made yet, but I hope it's delicious) and gouda and a million types of sausage. It was honestly the coolest place ever. I cannot wait to go back!

one more thing

I forgot to include that I love having a real fridge. Well, it's actually a 3/4 fridge, but that's a huge step up from the mini-fridge Erik and I have been using for the past two years. Seriously. A MINI-FRIDGE.

In case you didn't know, those aren't meant to hold fruits and vegetables. They don't regulate temperature well and most of our food would freeze a bit. Not to mention the fact that you can't hold much in a mini-fridge. Try fitting a weeks worth of fruits and veggies in there. Now add in your milk, cheese, eggs, sour cream, ketchup, mustard, pickles, yogurt, jam, peanut butter and left overs. It wasn't pretty.

Big News

Number 1: We bought a car.

We haven't had one since the beginning of November and we decided to purchase one. It was a pretty spontaneous decision. I was enjoying having no car... but we definitely needed one. So, we bought a '97 Toyota Tercel. It is forest green and hideous, but it only had 58,000 km on it and we got a good deal on it.

And the car came just in time because...

Number 2: We  moved.

Yes, we finally have a place of our own. We had been living with my sister and her husband since we've been married. We had a bedroom and a living room downstairs with a door that we could shut to the outside world, but our bathroom was upstairs by the their TV room and we shared a kitchen. Not ideal. And, our living space was approximately 300 sq ft. Including the bathroom and the stairs we took to get to them. Again, not ideal.
We now have 1000 sq ft. The place is dark and cold, but it is ours. That makes it perfect. We have our own kitchen (it has a door and no windows). We have our own living room (it has four walls all made of different materials). We have our own bathroom (we have to plunge the toilet almost every time we use it). And we even have a spare room... don't know if it will be a bedroom/music room/knitting room/empty room.

My favorite things about the place (so far... it's only been 2 days) are:

• that Erik and I can be in separate rooms (although it sounds like we are in the same room anyway because sound travels ridiculously well in here).
• the door to the bathroom (I'll have to take a picture)
• the wood fireplace in the room with four different walls

We own nothing but our bed, one dresser that we haven't yet fit into our bedroom, our clothing, two guitars, my knitting things, books, some Christmas decorations and two half computers that make one computer.

If you did an inventory of our kitchen you would find:
- two cutting boards
- four glasses (bought yesterday at superstore)
- a cast-iron skillet (a wedding gift - thank you Shawna)
- plastic flower plates from my grandmother
- a cutlery set (a christmas 2008 gift -thank you daddy)
- a little pot, a little bit bigger pot, and a tiny gross frying pan ($30 at superstore three years ago)
- a toaster
- a can-opener, a cheese slicer, and a knife
- some misc bowls
- and mugs.

We currently have no spices, no real dishes, and no utensils. Things are pretty primitive.

And we LOVE it. We are so glad to have our own place. It is lovely!

Snow

I woke up to snow this morning. I can't even remember the last time it snowed. It must have been in December. Here I was excited for spring!! Should have known. It's still trying to snow, but it is more of a slush coming down. I hope it stops soon and the sun starts shining again!

In other news. I still don't know about jury duty. I haven't sent my stuff in because the Nursing department head ladies are currently writing me up a letter or something to send in. I hope they finish it soon or else I will be in trouble. Just out of curiosity, does anyone know how they can penalize me?? There are threats on the papers they sent me. I don't really want to mess with the government.

Summoned

I have been summoned for jury duty.  A first. As a full-time student I am supposed to be able to get out of it. Let's hope it works.

Guest Post: Another Perspective

The term “Olympics” is a very nebulous word.  There are many things which the “Olympics” represent such as: athletics, competition, hope, freedom, global unity, medals, celebration, ceremony, and men and women who spend their lives dedicated to becoming better at their sport.  All of these things can be very positive experiences; I know athletic competition has played a huge role in both Ashley’s and my own life.  However there is another logistical category which the word “Olympics” encases such as: committees, economic growth, development, funding, selection, politics, policies, security, volunteers, employees, judges, athletes, coaches, trainers, amenities, and housing.  All of these words represent things which need to be planned out for any events to happen or at least for any events to happen in a progressive manner.  These are just some of the words which the “Olympics” can represent to different people.

The “Olympics” in its entirety (meaning these two categories together along with any other word one may be able to put with it) also has, like any cause, an effect.  The effect of the “Olympics” are like the two previous categories.  An effect the “Olympics” may have for example is the beautification and development of a city which plays as host.  Another effect the “Olympics” may have is a form of economic development on account of jobs created, a high influx of people to a certain attraction, or even future attractions of the event center.  All of these things are wonderful, a city should be beautified, create jobs for its citizens, and even should have different landmarks or attractions for the enjoyment of human kind.

There are also, however, certain negative effects which the “Olympics” bring about in a certain location.  The negatives are things which may not be obvious or may not seem significant at all.  They are something which we all have to make a decision about.  A negative effect from the “Olympics” may be the amount of resources or funding it takes to put on a specific event, where that funding comes from, where it could have gone, the way in which the development of a city is handled, individuals who profit from the events, and individuals who may be marginalized or mistreated by the affect the event has on a city.  All of these things can be called into question, some of these things have happened, some of these things may or may not happen.  A question that I have is, if there is a negative effect from an action I take, even if it is an unintended action, should I have a part in correcting that effect?

I recently read a response from the Olympics committee to a letter written by a social justice group based in Vancouver called Streams of Justice in which the Olympics committee was asked to take part in ensuring that all persons are treated with respect equally by putting policies in place which make how well a city deals with its poor and homeless citizens a part of their considerations in judging where the coming Olympic events are to be held.  The response which the group received was that the Olympics committee has nothing to do with how a city functions only if that city is a suitable place for the Olympics to be held.  The committee politely refused, in keeping with its policy, to do anything about the affect which the “Olympics” has had on cities past and future.

I have always enjoyed the “Olympics” and I probably always will because it is a great idea.  I cannot, however, agree with some of the consequences which come about due to this event.  We have the freedom, ability, and power to ensure the safety and care of all people, lets use it for the good of humankind.

Here is a website of a group (Streams of Justice) which has deep roots in the downtown eastside of Vancouver, they are innovated and fact based.  These are people who live downtown and have devoted themselves to an ideal of solidarity.  I highly suggest looking reading through what they have to say.

Thanks for listening.

E

Transit

I really do. I have been using public transit for the past two years to go to and from school. Then, with our car breaking down, I began to rely on it for everything. I love it.

For starters, it is wonderful to sit and relax for 45 to both start and end my school day. Unlike most individuals, I cannot read on the bus so I am forced to just be still for that time. This is a time I treasure. It is blissful to just forget about any worries for those few minutes.

Having no car also forces you to think about what trips are really necessary. I mostly love this, but it does get frustrating when you really need to get somewhere and you are unable to. I have come to realize how unnecessary most of our outings are... and what a waste of money it is at times. I find that life has had to slow down without a car; trips need to be planned. A part of me misses the spontaneity of having a vehicle, but I have appreciated that it has forced me to stay home more.I like to think that I live life in a little less of a frenzy, but I doubt that Erik would agree.

Have any of you been on a bus lately? I would say that 95% of the individuals who take the bus are texting on their cellphones the entire trip. This includes the young kids riding the bus. How young are kids getting cellphones these days? I have been thinking about how much cellphones have changed our culture/way of life. It is truly remarkable, but a different post for a different day.

Complete!

I have finished one of my knitting projects - my scarf. It is absolutely lovely! I LOVE it. It is the first thing I have ever made for myself and I did not skimp out on the yarn. The yarn I used was hand spun and hand dyed and it is absolutely divine. I love everything about it. The texture is lovely. The colors are splendid. The weight of it is fabulous. and I think it is perfect. Just perfect. I will have to post pictures when I find my camera.

Allow Me to Explain

I know I'm a Debbie Downer. I was on the fence for a long time with regards to the Olympics, but decided a while ago that I needed to make a decision. I think the reason it took so long was because I wanted so badly to have no qualms about the Olympics. I want to be excited. I think it would be so much fun to be in Vancouver and to experience the atmosphere and anticipation. I'm all for getting pumped up for sporting events. I want to celebrate Vancouver - it is a beautiful city! It's a city that we should be proud of and excited to show off to the world. I want to celebrate elite athleticism. I want to support people who work incredibly hard and excel at their sport. I want to celebrate nations from all over the world coming together to compete. It is wonderful to have such an international event in which different cultures are welcome to participate. I want to celebrate people coming together.

And I will. I will celebrate all those things.

There are many things, however, that I will not celebrate. As a friend so eloquently put it, there are three pillars of disaster: environmental, social, and economical.

Environmentally
Parts of the province (especially up near Whistler) have been destroyed as a result of Olympic venue construction. Hundreds of thousands of trees have been cut down. Also, this has been labeled the “greenest games ever”, meanwhile all the major corporate sponsors of the game have horrific environmental records. Coca Cola, for one, is well known for polluting and depleting water systems in India where they do most of their bottling. People in the communities in India are short on clean water because of Coke. The Royal Bank of Canada, for a second example, is the largest financer of the Alberta Tar Sands, the largest environmental disaster in the world. I had never heard of this, but have been informed that the tar sands cover a huge portion of Northern Alberta. What they have done is basically level a bunch of forest in order to extract crude oil. Once extracted, it takes four barrels of water to refine one barrel of this crude oil into what can be used by cars and other stuff. The tar sands have polluted a major river in Northern Alberta that many First Nations communities depend on for their water and food source and as a result, people in these communities have seen a rising level of extremely rare cancers that are killing members of their communities at very young ages. Yes, this isn’t necessarily a direct effect of the Olympics, but these sponsors are walking home with their own pretty pennies to continue on their environmental destruction.

Socially
People living in the community of the downtown Eastside have faced rising repression and harassment from the police. They have dealt with the process known as gentrification (where the poor are forced out of their living spaces so that they can be upgraded into high end condos). This has been done to “clean up” the area. People were forced out of their homes and these buildings remained empty for months leading up to the Olympics – rendering all the tenants homeless. As a result of this gentrification there has been a 300% increase in homelessness in the last 5 years – something that has never been seen in this area before. There is no affordable or low income housing available, despite numerous promises to build them. The Olympic Village, for example, was supposed to become 20% affordable/low income housing, and now there will be none. There have been massive cuts to health and education programs, yet the provincial government can cough up billions of dollars for the Olympics – which the tax payers will end up paying off. There are some more disturbing facts about our provincial government that come into play here; BC has had the highest child poverty rate in Canada for six years in a row. We have the highest cost of living in the country and the lowest minimum wage. There have been bylaw changes made to repress people’s rights to free speech, in accordance with the International Olympic Committee’s (IOC) demands on the host city. There are huge human rights issues that have been disregarded for the sake of a two week party.

Economically
The tax payers will be funding these games for years. Meanwhile, the IOC will make millions and millions of tax-free dollars because they’re not registered in any country. The games are only for the rich. It’s like a big party for all the CEO’s and government officials. The Liberal government, for example, spent almost a million dollars on buying tickets for government officials and representatives. Also, people think that having the games here will increase job opportunities and tourism but the reality is that this is only short-term. The Olympics bring no sustainability to the city, province, or country.  And history has shown that tourism in host cities only increases at the time of the games. Many small businesses cannot sustain themselves because the people coming in for the games are high rollers and they go to the high rolling restaurants and hotels. Meanwhile, the small guys get trampled on because the people in their community that they would normally receive business from are leaving because the Olympics cause such disturbance in their every day life with road closures etc. You may think that two weeks shouldn’t impact them too much, but two weeks is huge when bills are due. Basically the only people who benefit economically are the IOC, corporate sponsors and real estate developers who get involved in building the venues and Olympic infrastructure such as highways and transit improvements.

I am taking a course about Community Development right now. In some of my readings the authors discussed how you need to weigh the risk to the community against the benefit to both the community and society. There are so many benefits to the Olympics. I have listed some of them, but there are obviously more, but are they really worth it? Is entertainment that valuable to us? The fact that Erik works at an emergency shelter has definitely opened my eyes and softened to my heart to the injustices toward low-income and impoverished people. But it goes beyond them. The Olympics impact us all in more ways than we realize.

I am by no means trying to convince anyone to boycott the Olympics. I just want to challenge you to think about the bigger issues. I want you to think about the lasting impact these games will have on our community and on the many communities it has and will affect in the years to come. I do not think we should do away with the Olympics, but I do think drastic changes need to be made to make them a time of celebration for all.

Anti-Olympics

I'm just going to come right out and say it,  I am anti-Olympics.

I think the idea of nations coming together is wonderful, but the way things are done is ridiculous! It's a waste of money and it doesn't benefit anybody. In fact, it hurts more people than it helps. It actually hurts my heart.

After some thought

I don't know how many of you have experienced this, but pictures often grow on me.

For example, here are some pictures from my wedding. When I was perusing my pictures after getting them from the photographer I looked over all of these. None of them really stood out to me as favorites. In fact, I didn't even like some of them. I was looking through my wedding photos with my sister yesterday and discovered that I quite like each of these. It took a while, but after some thought, I have decided that they are quite pleasant.

I don't know why I didn't like this one at first. Maybe because it wasn't what I "envisioned". I think I was probably moping about the fact that it had rained and there was grey sky instead of brilliantly vibrant blue. It has grown on me though.

There's also this one. I thought it looked odd. I still kind of think it does, but I love the grass in the front. I love the color in it as well. I also like that Erik has the tiniest of smirks...

This one was not a favorite at the beginning because we are kissing in it. And my chin looks funny. I am not a big fan of kissing pictures. Seriously, how many of them do you need? This is one of the only pictures that actually shows some of the detailing on my dress. And I just think it's kind of cool. (Side note: a year ago I would have been mortified to post this as we are kissing in it. I am still a little embarrassed by it, but I'll deal)

Please note, we are not actually kissing in this photo. I wasn't a huge fan of this one at the beginning because we are so far away in it. Now I like it. That's really all I have to say.

And I have no idea why I like this one. Maybe it's because it is right before I stepped on a snake, but for some reason I think it's pleasant.

What a Man

Remember that post I did about Family Hockey?  I only bring it up again because my brother finally sent photos from the event. And I really only bring that up because this is a picture of all the boys in the fam who played... and in this picture, I think Erik actually looks like a bonafide hockey player. Notice him there on the right?? Between my brother Jonathan and my dad? I think it's because of his thick neck (thank you wrestling). What a man.

Obligation

I occasionally feel obligated to update this blog. I hate it when that happens. I have had this nagging feeling all week about needing to write something. There are times where I just have nothing to say so I have resisted the urge thus far. I still don't have much to say, but I thought I'd just let you know how things are going.

Actually, I have been thinking about hobbies lately. I have a love/hate relationship with my hobbies. The two at the top of my list at the moment are knitting and sending cards. They also happen to be my fake new year's resolutions. I say fake because I threw them out when a friend forced me to come up with something to strive for in the new year. I decided that they are things I would like to improve on in life in general so they were my cop out answers. Both are things I feel I can sustain for the rest of my life. I mean, who doesn't love handmade gifts and snail mail?

Back to my love/hate relationship.

Love.

I love knitting because it versatile. I mean, it can either be relaxing or entirely invigorating and challenging. I can choose to work on my baby blankets or I can learn a new stitch or (next on my list) create a baby garment. The options are endless! I love giving away hand-made gifts. I guess this knitting should include crochet as well. I have started doing that quite a bit now too. 
Summary: Relaxing and/or challenging, gifts for others.

I love sending cards because I love buying them. I get them from thrift stores, normal stores, anywhere I can really. I love them. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me smile. I love them. I wish I could make them, but I a not that creative. Maybe one day. Not only do I love buying them, but I love sending them! I love writing a little note in them (even when I feel I have nothing to say). I love the anticipation of waiting for it to get through the system and arrive at my loved one's home. I love the idea of the card traveling. I love that it actually has to be physically taken from point a to point b. What a lovely idea! Especially when I was sending cards to France... or across Canada. Lovely.

Hate.

I hate knitting because I have turned into a bit of a yarn snob. I like the good stuff. The problem with this is good stuff = expensive. I was going to the store regularly to see what was on sale so I got deals, but frequent shopping = more frequent buying. Bad combination. Also, my attention span is not always the greatest... thus I currently have 9 projects on the go. The last four inches of whatever project are always the hardest to complete (that'll be great for my 8 inch baby sweater). 

I hate sending cards because of my love of buying cards. Seriously! I love it. I am very good at restraining myself. In fact, I rarely buy cards. I bought them much more frequently when Erik and I were long-distance dating because I send him cards bi-weekly... and I had no car to go to thrift stores so I got them at the grocery store all the time. That got expensive. Yesterday I splurged on cards, however, because my favorite card store here in Kelowna was going out of business. Aka 50% off everything. I quickly scooped up cards I have been eyeing (sp?) for the past year and a half. I had an excuse to buy them now because they will never be as cheap as they were yesterday.  Thus I spent far more than I would normally spend, but I came home beaming. Erik even picked out a couple that he enjoyed.

And that is as far as my thoughts have wandered from schoolwork over the past week. My group projects are consuming me.

A Venti Vent

I would like to take a moment to vent about my program. It is frustratingly disorganized. Here we are... three weeks into school and we are still trying to figure out what is going on. I understand that (at least for me) there are always the beginning of semester jitters. There is always a period of time where you don't really know what's going one, but in most cases you can ask questions and get definite answers.

Definite is not in our faculty's vocabulary.

I know there is a certain degree of flexibility that needs to be maintained on the part of the student, aka me (and I consider myself a fairly flexible person), but seriously... when 60% of my grade is on the line I need a little direction. Especially when I am relying on three other people to work with me to produce whatever needs to be produced to make up the 60%. To make matters more irritating, three of my four classes require this collaboration.

I can usually tolerate the disorganization, but my severe disdain for group work has made it quite intolerable.

Proud of Himself

Erik and I went grocery shopping yesterday. He was casually talking to our favorite cashier when he suddenly exclaimed, "That is the best signature I have ever done in my life!"

And it was.

Almost legible.

On the Go...

I have been knitting as of late. I think it will come to a screeching halt, however, as school gets underway. I have many many group projects this semester so I am going to be spending much of my time in group meetings/group research/group writing/group prep work. I am not looking forward to the semester. I have group assignments worth at least half of my grade in three of my four courses. I think that is a bit ridiculous. Just saying.

Back to knitting.

I have a couple girlfriends who have recently picked it up as well so I have little knitting parties. We drink tea and sit on the floor knitting. It is splendid. I get bored of my projects when we are doing this so I am forever changing what I am doing. I currently have about 8 projects on the go. I like it this way. I find that I can knit for longer when I am alone because I just zone out and don't realize how much time has passed. When I am talking I ... well I don't zone out so I realize how slowly I am progressing and I get tired and switch to something else.

I have been trying to finish this one baby blanket I have been making since July! I tried a new stitch when I did it and it is the most tedious thing I have done. It is painful to even do a single row of the blanket so I am progressing quite slowly. I just want to finish the silly thing. I was making it for a friend and I decided that I'm going to keep it for myself because it is taking so long. At this rate it won't be done for years anyway. I force myself to do a row every once in a while just so I don't give up on the whole endeavor.

I need to finish at least two of my projects before I start another one. Next on my list is to make a baby sweater. I want to expand my talents and learn how to shape things. We'll see how that goes. I am thinking of taking classes at the local yarn store so I can learn a few tricks of the trade. We'll see if I ever have time. Maybe I'll have to go over my reading week this year.

Well, that's all for now. I know that was painfully boring. Sorry.

Beeswax Obsession!

Erik and I are loving beeswax candles right now. Seriously loving them. Ours are from Stanwood's very own Quiet Light Candles. They were hand-made at the convent. They are positively delightful.

Opa's 90th Birthday Celebration

As I mentioned in my earlier post, my family came down to celebrate my Opa's 90th birthday. We started the day (Saturday) off with hockey, then had a little program at my grandparent's church in Abbotsford. That mainly consisted of sharing memories of Opa, singing, appetizers, and a slide show. My Opa kept on saying we were celebrating "family day" rather than his birthday (cute).

Following the formal celebrations we had a mini-reunion at my brother's church. That mainly consisted of watching the Canucks game, playing boardgames, playing pool and foosball, eating, writing poems about the family and reading them, doing an "older generation" vs "younger generation" trivia game, and other fun things.

Here are my grandparents. Oma and Opa.

Here they are with most of their children. Two of my mom's sisters were missing.

 

Here they are with most of their grandchildren. 20 something are missing (if you include some great-grandchildren).

My family naturally took the opportunity to take a family photo. This is the first time we have all been together for an occasion other than a wedding since... my Oma's funeral in 2006. This was taken for Akiho, the Japanese student who has been living with my parents since August.

The Girls.

Add in two SIL's.

I mentioned the poems at the after party. The cousins were to write about the aunts and uncles and the aunts and uncles were supposed to write about their nieces and nephews (aka the cousins). My nephews and two cousins just heard they needed to write a poem and they ran out the door to write one. They followed a common Jansen layout - the alphabet poem. They went first and read their poem which went something like...

A is for axe.

B is for butt.

...

F is for fart.

...

X is for fox.

It was adorable. They were thrilled to have our undivided attention and we were happy to give it.

Here we are looking at some of my uncle's photos.

And here is Jenn with her little baby belly. Poor girl, I couldn't stop looking at it and smiling. And touching it occasionally. Next time I see her the baby will probably either be begging to come out or I will be able to actually hold it!

And a final one of my mom and some of her sisters.

 It was definitely a fun weekend. Very busy and full of family, but so much fun! I miss family events like these. I find it interesting to come in as an adult. It is interesting to see how relationships change and to notice things about family dynamics that you didn't see before. I enjoy developing different relationships with my aunts. I enjoy talking to them about things that matter and having common interests. I hope we have many more of these family gatherings.

Family Hockey

I am not reason enough for my whole family to travel home... a belated Christmas celebration isn't really either... We were all in town to celebrate my Opa's 90th birthday. The Saturday celebrations began with a family ice hockey game. Many of my uncles and cousins joined my brothers and my dad on the ice to play a game of hockey. Erik played too.... for his second time ever. He made his hockey debut in December when there was another family game. He has already improved. I can't wait to see him next year. My parents gave him some of the old skates they had lying around the house so he can practice skating at least before the next big game. My brother Justin wasn't allowed to play because of his arm (see this post or this even earlier one) so Erik was able to use his equipment. In all, I think there were 24 guys playing.

Justin officiated as he couldn't play.

Dropping the puck.

Auntie Heidi in action.

Christopher wishing he was old enough to play.

Jeremy

Brian

Pops

Erik in action.

Somebody was distracting Jonathan.

Mom and Auntie Anita

Beautiful Sharlene

Zachary cheering on his daddy.

Me and Auntie Ange

The Jansen boys

"Christmas" in January - a pictoral update

We decided to take advantage of everyone being home and we postponed our Christmas celebration until January 8 (which also happened to be my birthday). I don't know what you all do about Christmas gifts, but we draw names and do a "secret santa" type deal. It works well when you have a large family.

I was able to give my mother her birthday presents as I was away for her birthday (for the first time ever!). Her birthday happens to be on December 25th. Poor girl.

  This is what my brother-in-law did to his face that day. I laughed so hard, but seriously! He kept it all weekend.

We had a pleasant, low-key celebration. It was strange because we had one day to pound out all our Christmas celebrating rather than a "season" if you will. It was fun though, as always. This picture shows a little bit of what it's like to crowd into my parent's living room. It is nice and cozy. There are legs everywhere!

Christopher and Zachary are excited about their new lego set!

Akiho (my Japanese sister) opening her new pajamas and housecoat.

Justin showing Brian some love.

My niece Kaitlyn and my mother.

My 23rd Birthday

Does anyone else ever forget how old they are? I always do. I need to count from the year I was born to be certain. Birthdays aren't as exciting as they used to be. Getting older is not quite as fun. This year, I was at my parent's house for my birthday. I haven't been home for my birthday in years! In high school we were always gone for basketball on my birthday so it has been 7 years... Not only was I home, but my whole family was there with me. Seriously. All my siblings. That has never happened. Ever. Well, it did happen before Benjamin was born, but since he has been alive, my older siblings have been at college over my birthday. It was fabulous to be all together! Here are a couple pictures from my birthday.

 Erik was not excited about being woken up in the morning, but I was. 

 Ice Cream Cake. 

 Tea from Mom.

Me and my niece Jessica.