A Trip Further North

We spent just over a week in two villages in northern Laos -- Nong Khiaw and Muang Noi.

In Nong Khiaw our days were spent eating yummy food, reading, exploring the river and a cave, talking, and siting on the front porch of our bungalow. Our evenings were spent at a delightful little restaurant in town that played nightly movies, the two most notable being Forrest Gump and Good Morning, Vietnam. We had a nice rhythm in Nong Khiaw with three restaurants we ate at daily. We discovered a new dish that we enjoyed -- a sticky rice patty wrapped in an egg omelet.
Surprisingly delicious with a sweet chilli sauce. Two new dishes actually; Erik really loved this crushed olive sauce that we dipped sticky rice in. The dish was a bit sour for my liking, but it was alright.

In Muang Noi, a town an hour north of Nong Khiaw by river boat, we could be found lounging in hammocks, venturing through rice patties to a smaller town, swimming in a cave, reading, playing cards (cribbage and rummy), swimming in the river, eating at buffets and swatting bugs. It was surprisingly cool in the mornings and I would drag the duvet into the hammock with me until 11:00am because I was chilly.

Muang Noi was literally a street -- a single dirt road riddled with children, puppies, and chickens. The roosters made it impossible to sleep past 06:00, though I usually didn't manage beyond 05:30.

I have been a sleeping champion lately. I usually go to bed around 20:00 and wake up around 06:00. And, I nap most days. I don't know what my deal is, but I am so glad I am on vacation because sleeping feels oh-so-good. I am dreading going back to work and needing to be awake and functioning for twelve hours straight! Ugh.

One thing that has surprised me about traveling, though I suppose it shouldn't, is how important food is. I cannot tell you how much food affects our days. We are grumpy when we can't find good cheap food and are elated when it is plentiful. We have noticed that we sometimes enjoy a town solely because we found wonderful places to eat. These establishments range from the delicious Thai restaurant in Nong Khiaw (where we had Pad Prik Gaeng every night) to my little noodle soup lady on the street in Luang Prabang. We are on an increasingly tight budget so we are always on the look out for cheap, delicious, nutritious food that is preferably big enough to share. Or I am looking for Pad Thai -- that is always delicious.

We are going south tonight. On a night bus that gets into Vientiane around 05:00. We are being picked up at the fountain in the town center at 10:00 by friends of a friend. After I posted a few photos on facebook a friend emailed me saying that he has friends living in Laos and they happen to live in the city we are headed to next. They graciously offered to host us and we gladly took them up on the offer. So, that is where we are staying tomorrow night.

I believe we are making our way to Cambodia the day after that, though I could be wrong. There is a bus from Vientiane to Phnom Penh that takes 24 hours and we are thinking of taking it. Or we may stop in Pakse, a town in southern Laos where another friend of a friend lives. We need to be back in Bangkok on the 22nd to meet some friends (real life friends) so we have to figure out how long we want to spend in Cambodia.

But that is where we are at right now. If we do head to Cambodia right away then I am assuming you won't hear from me for a bit.

Hope you are well.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a hopeful weekend!

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On the Move.

We are on the move again. We are leaving Nong Khiaw and heading about an hour north, by river boat, to Muang Noi. I don't think there is anything to do up there, which we are both excited about.

I think we have come to a point in our travels where we are exceptionally conscious of our budget (friends are meeting us in about a month and we will want a little extra cash while they are here) and, as I said earlier, we are tired. We have just been using our time to mosey around, take walks, and do whatever we want. We are investing in ourselves and in each other and it is w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l! We have endless amounts of time to do whatever we please and it we are taking advantage of it.

How often do people get a chance to live without responsibility, time constraints, or appointments? How often are we able to "do nothing" all day long? That is exactly what we are doing and it is refreshing. Days that we "do nothing" are sometimes the most full and memorable days.

I am sure we will get back to being adventurous and being busy, but this is exactly what we need right now and we are savouring every moment.

Muang Noi has no internet and we are told it only has power from 19:00-22:00. That's why I felt the need to squeeze in this little post -- to update you and let you know you won't be hearing from us for at least a few days. We have no plans beyond getting on the boat so we could be back tomorrow or we could be back next week... who knows?

I hope you are all enjoying spring! It's one of my four favourite seasons. It even holds the number one spot for a quarter of the year.

Love from Laos!

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a peaceful weekend!

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Northern Laos, Reading, and Whatever Else Comes Out.

We have made our way up to Nong Khiaw in Northern Laos today.

I had a bit of a rough night, I was feeling nauseated and a wee bit poopy so I was up quite often. My nausea sadly hadn't subsided when we boarded the bus so I had a bit of an unpleasant trip. At one point I thought I was going to vomit all over, but it passed as Erik was trying to communicate to the driver that he needed to pull over. His panic almost equalled mine as I sat there desperate to either puke or have the nausea subside. I was thankfully able to swallow the bit of vomit that made its way to my mouth and then the nausea was held at bay until we arrived at our destination. I promptly fell asleep on a bench while Erik went in search of a hostel.

And now I sit in our little bungalow thing. Erik went to a restaurant that is playing the King's Speech tonight, but we decided it may be better for me to stay in and get some actual rest.

I finished my book today. I was reading Cider House Rules by John Irving. It is the first "good book" I have read on our travels. The rest have been entertaining at most, but I would not go as far as to callany of them good. Erik read the book last week so it was fun to be able to chat with him about what I was reading and what we both thought about it. The book is character driven rather than plot driven and I found that refreshing. I enjoyed Irving's writing; it was fluid, entertaining and engaging. Erik and I are both looking forward to watching the movie sometime. Has anyone seen it? Is it any good?

My sister and brother-in-law just had their 20th anniversary! I cannot believe they have been married for 20 years already. They spent the day in Disneyland with their boys -- what a treat!

I thought I had more to say, but this is apparently all my weary brain can muster. Goodnight!

Parenthood

No, I am not pregnant. Nor do I have any plans in becoming so in the near future.

Traveling, at least long term traveling, gives you plenty of time to think. I could write a book about my many thoughts, but it wouldn't be interesting to read. And it would be far too embarrassing to share. I started a post like this a few months back. I have actually started it many times, but felt like an imposter writing it as we aren't quite there yet. But, there or not, parenthood, birth, and babies are regularly on my mind.

I have been baby crazy for as long as I can remember. Getting married intensified it and now leaving all the babies I love has made it almost unbearable at times. Without the usual children-that-don't-belong-to-me to distract me, I only have my non-existant wee ones to occupy my thoughts. My loving husband trudges on as I regularly plead my "let's have a baby" case. He is unfazed and unfaltering. Just my luck.

I do have a few concerns regarding parenthood and, more specifically, being a mother. I don't worry about providing for an infant's daily needs, but I worry about what kind of a mother I will be.

Does anyone else think they will be a bad mom? Or did you? I can honestly say that I am a great auntie, but being a mother is a whole different ball game. Maybe I don't think I will be a bad mom, but I do have concerns.

Firstly, and most frighteningly, I am worried about sleep deprivation. Not sleep deprivation itself, I know this is inevitable, but about what it will do to me. Sadly, sleep deprivation makes me into a not-so-nice person. Strangers, friends and patients are safe from my wrath, but my poor husband, and I fear our future children, are not so lucky. I am afraid that sleep deprivation, coupled with a crying dependent, will turn me into a harsh, impatient, unkind and "yell-y" mother. When I know I am feeling this way as a wife, I just sequester myself and nap, knit, eat, or read until it passes and I feel like a human being again. You don't have that luxury when you are a parent.

I am worried that, once my child needs parenting rather than just caregiving, I will be inconsistent, too strict and emotion driven. I am worried that I will discipline based on my emotional response to a child's behaviour whether the response is warranted or not. I want to discipline appropriately and fairly rather than based on how I am feeling on a particular day. Kids don't need to be disciplined for being kids -- they aren't misbehaving just because they are being annoying.

I am very worried about how much I will love those wee ones. My heart aches and my eyes well up when I think about children that aren't mine so I can't imagine how it will feel when they are mine. I have spent many a night snuggled up with a tiny child and weeping because of how deeply I love them. The thought of loving anyone more (maybe not more, but differnently) terrifies me.

Along with this deep loving, I am worried about not being able to let go. I know that I often feel the weight of others' decisions, especially poor decisions. I feel embarrassed when someone embarrasses themselves. I feel sad when they do something I know they shouldn't (and I know best, right?). I feel heart broken when they are heart broken. I very much carry the burden of others decisions and emotions.  I should clarify that I only do this with people I care deeply about and I have no problem with this at work or with acquaintances. But my own child?? I am afraid I will feel responsible for their decisions and that I will be hurt when they make poor ones. I think everyone feels this to some degree, but I am worried that I will be a bit ridiculous.

And, of course, I am concerned about how having a child will affect my marriage. I love my marriage. I love my husband. I love the endless amount of time we can spend together. I cherish our time together and the thought of sharing him makes me a little sad. I am afraid our marriage, though it will always remain a priority, will be the thing that gets the short end of the stick (is that what I mean to say?). I feel as though parenting takes over your whole life... I want us to maintain our roles as husband and wife rather than just becoming parenting partners. I want to know how to maintain both roles now though I know it will be a journey we have to walk through and discovery together.

I want everyone to get the best of me all the time, including myself. How do you do that? I hope you will all have wonderful advice for me when we are ready to journey into parenthood. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I'm hoping that village is there to raise this mother as well.

It's too bad worrying gets you no where.

And it is a good thing that I can put my hope in the Father, trusting that He has shown me areas in which I can grow, and knowing that He will be faithful as I journey along.

South East Asia so far

It has been a while since I have given a proper update. We have been in South East Asia for nearly two weeks now. The heat has been a welcome change from Scotland, but I have to admit that I really miss Scotland. I loved it!

Coming to South East Asia feels like starting over again. We were expecting this, but the excitement of figuring out an entirely new place has lost its luster and seems tedious at times. It probably doesn't help that we haven't been feeling the best. We spent our first two days in Bangkok in our room trying to sleep. Then, we both had lingering colds. Then, I lost my voice and I still have a wicked cough. Thankfully the cough is as far as my unwellness goes; I feel fine aside from that.

Bangkok. That was a bit of a blur. The main thing I remember from the few days we spent there (I think it was three nights) was the yummy pad thai we ate for every meal. I kid you not, we had Pad Thai for every.single.meal. And let me tell you, it was delicious. It was cheap, it was twenty feet from our hostel and it was yummy.

We headed north from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. We were relieved to get out of Bangkok. We have learned that we aren't particularly fond of big big cities. We much prefer towns that at least have the feel of being much smaller than they are. Chiang Mai was less aggressiventhan Bangkok and for that we were thankful.

We didn't spend much time in the city. We ended up doing a three day trek the day after we arrived. I have no idea where we went, but we did have a view of the tallest mountain in Thailand while we walked. erik liked the trek more than I did. I would categorize it as a glorified walk as it certainly wasn't hiking. In my opinion, hiking requires sweating and being short of breath. You need breaks when you hike and I, for one, hate hiking every single step of the way. Yes, I hate the act of hiking, but I love love love everything else about it. We "hiked" for seven hours, in the sun, and nobody broke a sweat. That isn't hiking.

On our trek we also rode elephants and did some bamboo rafting. The rafting was surprisingly the highlight. It was peaceful and relaxing and lovely. I was disappointed with the elephant riding. It seemed... I just didn't really like it. We were told we were going elephant riding, but we didn't know who we were going with or how they treated their animals and I didn't like that. I also didn't like that all we did was climb up to a platform, walk in a circle on the elephants, and then climb back onto the platform and they left. I didn't even have a chance to take a picture! I know pictures aren't everything, but when am I ever going to ride an elephant again? Never, that's when. I think I had the romantic idea of interacting with the elephants a bit more/at all.

We were supposed to do cooking classes the day after the trek, but I woke up sounding like I smoked 40 packs of cigarettes every day of my life. I felt as terrible to so we rescheduled for the following day. Trekking was Erik's highlight, but our cooking class was definitely mine. I learned hoe very easy Thai food is to make. The only difficult part is finding the proper ingredients -- that will be a challenge. We made seven dishes (4 individually and 3 as a group) and they were all so delicious! Thai food is so yummy!!!

We headed east to Chiang Khong where we spent a day before crossing the border into Laos. We spent the last two days peacefully slow-boating down the Mekong to Luang Prabang and we are, again, without plans.

We never have hostels booked and honestly only have a very rough idea of where we want to go. We change pur minds frequently and fly by the seat of our pants. I haven't even read about Luang Prabang yet... We will have to do some exploring today.

Just yesterday we decided that we are cutting Vietnam out. I am a bit sad about this, but it is just too expensive. We would want to travel cross country and that would include either back-tracking or flying, both of which are expensive. So it is getting the axe. A some point you do need to make decisions based on money alone. I know this will probably be the only time we are ever in South East Asia, but that is just the way things go sometimes.

I think we are being hit with a bit of exhaustion right now. We are tired of always being on the go and always figuring out a new city, a new mode of transportation, and a new culture. It is exciting, but it gets tiring. Sometimes you just want to know and be known, on those days we go on dates. We sit in a cafe and journal, read or talk all day long and it is so refreshing. I think we just need to get our South East Asian groove on.

So, to leave this a bit more positively, we are very excited to explore Laos. We have been told that the north is particularly lovely and we have plans on heading there in the near future.

Much love.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

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Another Jansen

My sister-in-law, Heather, is pregnant. This means that my brother, Zachary, is going to be a papa! Yippeee!!!! They are due August 3rd and we are very excited for them. 

We found out before we left, which I am thankful for as it is always more fun to learn such things in person. It is strange to think that we are gone for the majority of Heather's pregnancy. She didn't even have a bump when we left and she will be great with child when we return. 

Another baby. This auntie is pumped. 

:: right now ::

Right now, I am...

:: listening to the monks chanting in the temple beside our hostel. 

:: clearing my throat. Everyone seems to smoke in these parts and it is doing a number on my respiratory system.

:: losing my voice as a result of the above.

:: wishing I were home. This is the first time I have been homesick and it is because there are some big changes happening at home and I wish I was there to participate/help/love people. 

:: smelling sewage. Nothing new there. 

:: adjusting to being in South East Asia. It is so much different than South America, as I knew it would be, but it sucks to be back out of our groove. You know?

::  organizing our migration to Laos. Soon and very soon we will be floating down a river toward Luang Prabang.

:: appreciating how delicious Thai food is. It is exceptional and by far the best food we have had all trip. 

:: looking forward to cooking lessons tomorrow. We rescheduled this morning because I woke up unable to talk. 

:: salivating at the thought of the yummy food I will be surrounded by all day tomorrow. 

:: sweating. Just a bit. 

:: reminding myself that I'm so lucky to be here. I don't take any convincing, but I enjoy being fully present and grateful for this adventure. 

:: perusing photos on Facebook -- mainly old ones I have taken. 

:: willing someone back home to wake up so I can chat with them. I'm not even sure what the time difference is, but I feel as though you guys should be waking up soon, no?

:: planning adventures for the summer when I am home. I have plenty of catching up to do and I want to make the summer as full and friend-filled as possible. 

:: remembering to enjoy and appreciate this moment too rather than just looking forward to being home. 

:: conversing with my husband. It is funny how we can spend every moment of every day together and still manage to "miss" each other. We sometimes needs to have catch up days where we are intentional about talking with each other. 

:: unraveling the baby booties I was trying to knit. The pattern has me stumped, but I will give it another go soon. Or maybe I will email the ladies back home at Art of Yarn for some help. I love them. 

:: absorbing as much as I can. Thailand is beautiful and being thrown into another culture is outrageous and I love it!

:: decluttering  my house even though I don't have one. I have enjoyed living with very little and would like to continue to do so when we get home. Well, maybe not very little, but definitely with less things than before. 

:: commiting to having a clean house when I get home. This will make Erik happy. 

:: gagging because people are horking and spitting outside my window. This is sadly very common.

:: resisting the urge to itch the bug bites that are covering my legs. They.Are.Driving.Me.Batty!

:: trying to remember where I put the postcard I wrote. I sent three away, but can't seem the find the last one. It is frustrating me!!!

:: giggling at the poem Erik just read me. He is reading The Cider House Rules and it is a great book (at least the bits he shares with me are). 

:: bidding  you all adieu. It is time for me to rest my weary eyes. 

:: wishing you a wonderful Wednesday, wherever you are!!

the best

This was waiting for me when I woke up this morning. It makes me ache for the people back home -- especially these six and their mothers.

I would be on a plane and on my way home for some serious snuggles if it weren't for the wonderful time we are having. And if we weren't going to Thai cooking classes today.

But these are my little sweetie pies. Aren't they precious?

Isle of Arran

One last Scotland post. This past weekend we went to Isle of Arran with Kurt and Erin. It is clear across Scotland and it took a whopping three hours to get there in the form of two trains and a ferry ride.

We rented a little cottage and settled in for a weekend of fellowship and fun. The sun was shining when we arrived in the late afternoon so we decided to go for a walk through the countryside around town. We walked to a castle overlooking the sea and continued on through the hillside. It was breath-taking and I continually reminded myself that I am so lucky! I didn't really need reminding, but I was intentionally grateful for each moment. We played rook late into the night. Kurt made me stay up until 22:30, which was a feat as I was ready for bed two hours earlier.

We had a relaxed morning before catching the bus that circulated the north end of the island. We stopped for a tour at the local distillery before making our way to the east and embarking on a three-hour walk along the seaside and up a... bluff. The Scottish have non-English names for everything and I am frequently confused. The sun didn't shine this day so it was a wee bit chilly, but we made do and the scenery was no less lovely. Again, our night was spent playing rook, a game which I just learned and am not very good at.

And on our last morning on Arran, we set off on yet another walk before making our way back home to Edinburgh.

The weekend was wonderful. It was great to spend time with our friends as they were both busy during the week. We were able to properly catch up and to have conversation that was both challenging and encouraging. I really miss having Kurt and Erin closer. They usually live in Vancouver, but seem to be galavanting around the world more often than not.

Arran was absolutely stunning, as was all of Scotland. Erik and I were both sad to leave, but we have hopes of visiting again in the probably-distant-future.

For now we are on to sunnier and sweatier things -- South East Asia.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

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Date Night

This is how we roll. Yes, I am wearing everything I own even though we are inside. And yes, I am desperately trying to convince my niece that she loves me. She probably just thinks I'm crazy. Isn't she sweet?

Some more of Scotland

I feel as though there is so much to say about Scotland. Every single day has been full of activities. We walk for the majority of every day, which is necessary to keep warm in these parts.

We spent a day in Stirling, though we wish we had a bit longer. We visited Stirling Castle (my favourite) and Doune Castle in a neighbouring town. Both were very interesting. It was a beautiful day and we wished we had more time to leisurely walk around, but we had a bus to catch so we were in a bit of a hurry. 

At Stirling we had a private tour because we were the only two there. The guide was very informative and took us places he doesn't usually take tours as two people are much easier to accomodate than fifty. I would say it was my favourite castle because it had the most history, it was the most ornate, and we were told about the lives of the people who lived in the castle, both servant and royal. 

We went to Doune Castle because it was where Monty Python and the Holy Grail was filmed. I have never seen the movie, but Erik happens to love it. The castle was deserted when we arrived, but we found an audio tour and off we went. The tour was done by one of the Monty Python fellas and it was very well done. We laughed our way through the castle and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. 

And then we met our friends in Edinburgh. It has been so nice to see them! We love them dearly and even if we didn't, it is nice to see a friendly and familiar face. We spent our days in Edinburgh walking the Royal Mile, visiting Edinburgh Castle, perusing the Surgical Museum, doing an underground tour, walking through Holyrood Park and spending time with our friends. We also hopped on over to Linlithgow Palace, a short train ride from Edinburgh. It has been awesome!!

Scotland continues to woo me. I would love to come back in the summer sometime, but I can't complain about the weather. It has been cold, especially when compared to South America and South East Asia, but the sun has shone most days and we have yet to see the rain the UK is notorious for. 

One thing I find disgusting about Edinburgh is the dog poop all over the sidewalk. Nobody cleans up after their pets and it is foul! But that may be all I have to complain about. Yes, I think it is.

Erik keeps telling me he could move here. He specifically loved Inverness as it is a smaller town and there was plenty of green space. That's one of the things with Scotland though -- there is plenty of uninhabited green space which we find very refreshing. And absolutely beautiful. Scotland is absolutely beautiful. All of it. I sadly fall asleep the instant I the mode of transportation I am in begins to move so I miss some of the scenery on bus or train rides, but Erik likes to inform me of the beauty I have missed. 

My only regret? That we don't have more time in this beautiful country. I felt ready to leave South America. I would have gladly stayed there longer, but I was also ready to continue on our journey. I don't want to leave Scotland. Not yet, at least. 

fixed it

Woops! I posted the wrong link in my last post, but I have fixed it. The link to the ravelry page is updated, but I will post it again so you don't have to scroll down. 

So, here it is!

Made Me Smile

Now for something completely unrelated to traveling. I won't even brag about sitting in a cosy cottage in Scotland with a view overlooking a castle and the sea. I won't make you jealous by talking about my husband making crepes behind me or talking of our plans to walk around the island today.  Instead, I will get straight to the point.

As you all know, I love knitting. because of this, I adore this site called Ravelry. I don't know if you have heard of it, but Ravelry is an online knitting... Goldmine. When I was first introduced to Ravelry I only used it for browsing through patterns. More recently, however, as in for the past year or so, I have actually been messaging other knitters asking them questions and getting some knitting support. There are blogs you can check out, people you can "follow" if you particularly like their projects, and forums you can participate in. I use ravelry to keep track of some of the things I have knit and to store some of the patterns I want to knit. I in no way use Ravelry to it's full potential, but it is awesome and there is my plug for it.

That is not what this is about.

I just checked on Ravelry for the first time in a couple months and I had a very important message. I have received messages only a handful of times from people asking about patterns I have done or yarn I have used or whatever, but this message was a wee bit different.

I received a message from one of the powers that be with a request to feature my photo.

It obviously doesn't take much to make me smile (most days), but this elicited a grin from ear to ear. Do you remember this post? Well it felt kind of like that. Only better.

I should probably take a moment to clarify what "featuring" a photo looks like. It means my photo is displayed with the original pattern along with some other 15 photos or so... it really isn't incredibly special, but it kind of is.

Now for the photo. Of course you recall these adorable tunics I made for my nieces (they are adorable not because I made them, but because the pattern is adorable!). The request is to feature the first photo, which happens to be one of my favourites of both the girls and the tunics.

That isn't even the best part.

If you check out the Ravelry page here you will notice that my photo is featured alongside soulemama's. I absolutely adore her and I am a bit star-struck at the thought of even being remotely associated with her or her work. It made me smile.

And, as a sidenote, I didn't even make the pattern because she did... I found it myself.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a sunny weekend!

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