spew

I babysit the neighbour twins once a week. They are three years old and they make me laugh all day long. Today Lo cradled my face in her little hands and said, "I love you so much, Ashley. I really love you, but your face is funny looking."

Finally done my work week. This week it was enough to just get to the end of it. I made it! Phew. I slept for only an hour and a half between my night shifts -- uh oh. And then I babysat today at noon after getting off work at seven. It may have been a lets-play-playdoh-all-afternoon kind of day. The kind where I sat on the couch and asked them to make various things for me. It was wonderful.

It's snowing here. Nothing is sticking thankfully. I'm not ready for winter.

We are slowly slowly packing up out house. We don't know if our niece will live here with a roomie while we are gone or if we will be giving up our place and putting everything into storage (aka Lindsey's crawl space) while we are gone so we've decided to start packing the non-essentials. It is a bit stressful and I feel like our house is in complete disarray (what's new?), but I'll be glad I started this early. 

I'm looking forward to a weekend with the girls. Mandi, Milena and I are having a bit of a staycation at my parent's B&B (did you know my parent's have a B&B here in Kelowna??) and I am so excited. I wish it wasn't at my parent's place as it is "mom and dad's" to me and not really a holiday, but we are accommodating for the kiddies who will be joining us on the second night. You heard me correctly, the kiddies aren't coming until day 2. That means I get my girlfriends to myself for a night. I don't think it has ever been just the three of us and I can't tell you how excited I am. I love their children, but I can't wait to spend time with just the ladies.

With this trip coming up (in six weeks!) I feel a bit of desperation and panic. I want to capitalize on the time I have left here as I am acutely aware of how much I will be missing while I am gone. My nieces and nephews (both bio and pseudo) are going to grow and change so much and I won't be there to see it. My sister and friends (not just the mama's) are going to go through so much and they too will grow and change and I won't be there to physically support or spend time with them. I love being there to help out in practical (and sometimes impractical) ways. 

Milena will have a new baby. She will be adjusting to life as a mama-of-two and I won't be there to help with meals, or housework, or snuggling. I know she doesn't need me, but I love being there to help out. The new baby will be over six months before he/she knows just how much I love him/her.
Peyton and Avery will be almost a year old when I come home. They will learn to sit, crawl and maybe even walk all before I get home. I find the 6-12 month stage so.much.fun. And I'm going to miss out on that too.
Sawyer and Maelle are going to be little three-year-old ladies when I get back. And little Gus will be one and a half. Ugh! They're going to be so big!
I know there are many adults I won't see for six months too, but those relationships are easier to maintain at a distance. It's those six little ones that I am most sad to leave... ugh I need some kids of my own.

But I will also be changing and growing and experiencing and it will be awesome. It will be different, but it will be awesome. And I have absolutely no regrets about being gone so long. Erik an I are going on an awesome adventure -- a grand adventure -- and we are going to love every minute of it!

I'll still miss home.