I have a friend who is having trouble getting her one year old to:
a) fall asleep
b) sleep in her own bed
c) sleep through the night.
I think she has been breastfeeding her daughter to sleep, but the little one wakes up anytime she tries to transfer her to her own bed. She wakes up and wails and then stands in her crib and screams. She also wakes up multiple times a night to feed some more.
I have never been a mother so any advice I have... well I really have no clout. I know my girlfriend is not the only mother to ever have sleep issues with her kids so I thought I would see if any of you have any advice I can give her. What worked for you? What didn't? What have you heard that may work?? Any advice would be much appreciated.
5 comments:
I had two different boys but I never co-slept so I can't speak to that. What I can say is that Ali is right. Patience is key. Kai slept through the night around 6 months I think? Koen? I still breastfed him at 4am unil he was about 13 months old. And then, he still was given a bottle of milk when he woke up a 4am until he was almost 18 months. Some might say I'm crazy but if it takes 5 minutes to give him the milk (rather than listening to his screaming for an hour), I'll give it to him. Each kid is so different, and, each parenting style is so different.
I know for sleeping in their own room, doing it successfully for naps first was key. Maybe a few days of napping in their own room first. I remember doing the pick up/put down method with Koen and it worked after about 3 nights (first night was about 30- 40 times:) and I would recommend that for sure.
All three of those things will happen. Each kid is just so different and that's okay and its good.
I absolutely swear by the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" It has been my guidebook for my kids. It is a book that follows a child's development in easy sectioned chapters all the way to teens. It gives their advice, and then offers ideas of how to cope/deal/address the frustrations of different situations. It is a book where you hop around from chapter to chapter and is not meant to be read straight through, but you go to whatever section you need. I LOVE it... and if it is worth any extra endorsement, the Engbers brought me to this book and three people I've recommended it to swear by it now too. It's not rocket science, but helps give ideas when your mommy brain may just not work correctly because of being overtired.
Ok, that was my book review... Ali said it perfectly. Patience! Logan had a harder time getting to sleep and staying asleep before he found his two little fingers to suck on. What worked for us was routine... to the point of being obsessive about it. The EXACT same thing had to occur every night for him to fall asleep.
By age 1 you can also distinguish cries... get your friend to start listening throughout the day at the different sounds of cries. The I need attention funny cry, the I am in pain cry, the I am hungry whine, the I don't know what I want but if you hug me once I'll probably be fine cry, etc. I find if Logan still has energy at the end of the day, his cry in his crib is more the attention or hug me one more time type cry.
Um. that's my essay, hope it's helpful!
agreed. patience is KEY.
Crying it out is always easier said than done, and at around 1, I began to do that with Amy.
Even after I knew all her needs were met(fed, changed etc.) there were days it took her 30mins+ for her to finally calm down, but eventually we all got the hang of a nice bedtime routine.
If she wouldnt settle after about 15 mins, i would go into her room and gently reassure her she was ok by hugging her through her crib, rubbing her head, or just speaking really softly...but never picking her up.
The screaming, "MAMA"'s and the reaching out to be picked up is SO hard... but it pays off in the long run.
I would go outside and mow the lawn, garden, or just go to my room with the monitor turned off for a while so I just couldn't hear her (that sounds awful...but it worked)
Shes been sleeping soundly and has been since about 15 months now.
Good luck to your friend :)
We tried so many things with Micah, but at 15 months he was still night-waking and breastfeeding at night. All at once we started letting him cry-it-out (once we checked on him) and weaned him. Within about 3 days he was sleeping 10-11hrs straight at night, with only a water cup in his bed (he would find it on his own, have a drink and put himself back to sleep). But before that we tried everything and nothing worked. I think he just wasn't ready earlier when we tried.
I'm obviously a co-sleeper, so my idea of things is from that angle. IMO, it sounds like this little one still needs her mama. The path of least resistance, as well as the solution that meets that need, is to sleep together. It is very, very normal that 1 year olds would be unhappy being alone. They are still so attached at this age.
That may or may not be the advice your friend is looking for. But has she considered it? Depending on her desires and/or view on things, co-sleeping could be a very real (and easy) solution. Especially if she is still nursing.
Many people across time and space sleep with their children -- it isn't weird or unhealthy. In fact, one could easily argue that WE are the weird ones for not sleeping with our little ones. (I'm not preaching per se. Just spouting. You know. :)
I'd be curious for an update...
Post a Comment