Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Erik and his TP

Erik regularly mocks me for being so cheap. I love deals, I don't buy things we don't need (except yarn) and I generally kibosh things that cost money. So, he always comments on how I scrimp and save, but there is one thing that he cares about much more than I do.

Toilet paper.

He always complains about how much toilet paper I use. If he happens to be in the vicinity (too much info?) while I am grabbing toilet paper he will holler at me to use less.

For example, "Five sheets??? You just peed!! Why do you need five sheets?!?!?! Use one!!!

Nice try Erik.

There are a couple reasons why I use more TP than he does:

  1. He can employ the shake-and-go method, but I like to ensure my undergarments aren't required to finish the drying process. 
  2. He only needs to use toile paper for half the excretions I do.
  3. He doesn't move his bowels nearly as often as I do. That alone leads to an uneven distribution of toilet paper consumption.

Erik is so ridiculous that he dropped an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet, fished it out, allowed it to dry on our plunger, and now uses it. Please tell me that is a bit much.

5 comments:

Lynn Webb said...

Hahaha thats hilarious. I love your honesty and you. xo

ade drost said...

HAHAHA :) love it. :)

Anonymous said...

Do you buy 2-ply or 3-ply? One piece after peeing if you only buy 2-ply is outrageous. You're right, it's a bit much!

Anonymous said...

This is so funny to me because I have the exact same problem! Can't guys just understand girls need more haha

Erik said...

What Ashley has conveniently left out which I think is important is the make and model of our TP and all of the options she has available to her while wiping.

We use Charmin Ultra Quilted extravagant 3 ply TP. So absorbant that you can pour an entire glass of blue liquid on the floor and 5 sheets can absorb it all. The downside of this choice of TP is that it is very expensive and I will not compromise the comfort of my sphincter buying anything less.

Ashley does not have a glass of residual blue liquid to wipe up every time she goes to the bathroom. All I ask is that she use the "paper plane" folding technique if she needs more ply power or that she "find the corners" as it were. The sheets feel small but there is actually quite a bit of acreage on one of those babies.

My message to all women out there, stand against TP waste, save enough to take your poor husband out to the movies once in a while. Please!

I am Erik Olson and I approve this message.