Friday, November 24, 2006

What I hope to be a new beginning...

Today has been wonderfully painful. Actually, probably more painful than wonderful, but it has brought hope. The hope of restoration and reconciliation is proving to be a wonderful thing, but pain is most definitely not absent.
I have had the opportunity to experience the beauty of the Prayer Room connected to the lounge here at Columbia Bible College. This morning it was absolutely silent as there was no one upstairs. It was lovely. I had a good long talk with God down on my knees. I knew I had things to deal with today and I decided that it was about time I turned to Him instead of relying on my pitiful self. Let me tell you, it's a good thing I did.
I had a much needed conversation this morning. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I was sick to my stomach before having it and I still feel quite ill, but I am glad it is over. I am still surprised at my ability to maintain relative composure. I prayed the entire time and God gave me the words to say although my translation of them was probably less clear.
I am sorry for being so evasive but I would rather not delve into my deep personal issues over the internet.
We'll keep this short and say that much needed conversations do not get easier if you avoid having them. When you have them, problems don't instantly go away. It still sucks, and I am sure that it will for a long time.

1 comment:

Lynn Webb said...

I love you always and forever and I pray that God gives you the strength to press on. Suddenly our conversation is becoming more clear. Miss you...