I ran into my sister in the foyer of the hospital this morning. She was just arriving for her shift while I was heading home from mine. I don't know why, but I walked home with a smile plastered on my face. I love running into her! It was refreshing to have a good morning hug after such an trying night. I had a patient with a brain injury. If any of you have known individuals with brain injuries you will know that the are never they same. They are impulsive, confused, and easily agitated. It was a long night. But seeing Lindsey this morning made me feel much better. I love my sister.

Sweet Sunday

We had a lovely day yesterday. It makes me wish I worked Monday to Friday and always had weekends off. Too bad I have a lifetime of shift work to look forward to.

The day started with staying in bed for an extra hour rather than going to the gym. It was so nice to roll over and remain in my warm and cozy bed.

Bean and her Beautiful Mama

After church we went to Sawyer's house with all the young adults and had crepes and waffles for lunch. It was delicious! There was plenty of fruit, whipped cream, bacon, crepes and waffles. Yummy!

I love our church. It probably has about 50 members and 10 of them are young adults living in town. And the best part is that we all get along really well. We are all so different and yet it works for us. I feel like that is pretty rare. It isn't just the young adults either, we get along with everyone at our church. I don't just love our church because of the people, but they definitely make it that much better!

Back to our day. We hung out for the afternoon playing xbox, fixing motorbikes (though I didn't partake in this), snuggling babies, laughing and chatting.

While I was sitting there I was overwhelmed with just how blessed I am. It was amazing to sit and realize just how many things I have to be thankful for. My friends are wonderful. They make me feel so comfortable, supported and safe. In the past year we have had two babies added to our group and we all adore them!

Erik mocking a sleepy Sawybean

After lunch we went to an annual open house hosted by another couple from church.  All of us poor young adults decided to capitalize on the free food :)  And there were plenty of tasty treats to over-indulge ourselves with.

We set up our own Christmas tree when we came home. Late. We have a real tree this year, a first for me, and it smells divine! I do love fake trees though. I love how perfect they are... but there is something lovely about a real pine.

I thought I would have to make gingerbread and orange slice decorations, but it turns out we have enough decorations. There are less branches then I am used to so we filled them up pretty quickly. We have all the decorations we made when we were kids, the ones we were given throughout our lives, and the four I have bought us... and it ended up being more than enough. I'm going to Michael's today to pick up some ribbon to make a bow for the top. And then I get to decorate the rest of my house! I love Christmas.

If only

If only looking in a mirror was this much fun. Bean had hours (more like 45 minutes) of entertainment this morning playing with her reflection. Adorable!

dreamy

I've been dreaming this morning. Dreaming of a home of my own where I can paint my walls, put holes in said walls, and decorate as I please. I dream of natural light and of bookshelves from ceiling to floor. I dream of windows! And bench seats. And colour. Lots and lots of colour. And cozy and comfy.

This room is so refreshing! I usually don't like white, but I love the simplicity of this room. I love the all the windows, the bench seat, and the accent pillows. I love the pillows. I think i love the windows the most. They are just lovely.

 

And I love love love all the frames on the wall. I don't think I would ever (ok I know I would never) go quite this eccentric, but I am planning on having a collage of my own.

And of course this one. It feels like such a safe little nook. I love the colours, the couches, the windows, and the bookshelves. I also adore that rug. Ok. I have listed everything about this room. I love it all. Except I would probably take away the big green bobble thing on the right. And the thing on the wall. The wall thing is lovely, but I would want something else there, but I do love the rest of it and would love to transport that into my future home.

I have a wonderful day planned out for me. House cleaning and then relieving mama's of some sick babies.

in my freezer

Want to know what's in my freezer? Next to the soup stock and frozen bananas??? Breastmilk. And no, it's not mine, I am just always prepared.

Sleepover with LM.

Maelle Mai slept over last night. It was our second sleepover together and it went much better than last time! She's only 4.5 months old and she already has two teeth!! Poor thing! Needless to say, falling asleep was not always the most fun for her - it took about an hour and half of crying, but we did it! And she only woke up once (at 3am) for a feed. We ended up playing for an hour because she didn't want to go back to sleep, but I was fine with that. She then slept from 4:30-8:15 am and woke up cooing and gargling. A happy baby is such a nice thing to wake up to in the morning!

I love when babies are this age! When they giggle and play and are easily entertained. Erik had a lot of fun with Maelle too... I think it was really the first time he has really played with her. He loves babies because they laugh at all his jokes and he gets to make noises and sound effects. I'm not so easily entertained by him.

This is how they spent their morning while I got ready for church. They just hung out and talked. I know I have said it a thousand times, but I am so lucky to have Maelle and Sawyer. They bring me so much joy! I'm pretty lucky that their parents trust me with them too. I have had more sleepovers in the past six months than ever in my life (not counting sleepovers with my dear husband)! 

Maelle hates her carseat, but it did provide a wonderful opportunity for me to snag a picture of her two little teeth. I'm going to miss those baby gums. She sometimes likes to suck on a finger, but now when she chomps down it actually hurts! A lot! Those little gaffers are sharp!!

I'm off to bed though. Gotta work in the morning. 

this is who i get to snuggle with all night long.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

*** *** ***

washing your hands

You know you work in a hospital when you cringe at the thought of going to the bathroom without washing your hands first. With both soap and alcohol. And then maybe soaking them in bleach.

Other fun things at work today:

• Being stopped in the hall by a concerned family member while carrying a bedpan full of stool to the dirty service room. Then respectfully asking them to give me a minute to discard my precious cargo, but they insisted it didn't bother them and they only had a second anyway. Then trying not to gag (because the smell of stool makes me want to empty my stomach contents) while standing there listening to this concerned family member. Not fun.
• Having the connection of a hemovac drain come disconnected due to someone's faulty tape job while transferring it to a biohazard bag. That probably doesn't mean much to most of you, but picture this, blood all over me, my patient, and the floor. Thankfully I had a gown on over my clothes because the patient had an antibiotic resistant organism.
• Having two extra members on your team (me and another student) and still being behind on everything!! Talk about a busy team and an absolutely ridiculous day! Can't wait to go back tomorrow. Groan!

the one in which i talk a lot and say nothing

I miss when Christmas vacation was actually a vacation. Today marks the end of my fall semester and I have to work tomorrow!!! And then as much as I can over the rest of my "holiday". 

I haven't touched my knitting needles for weeks. I can tell. I need to knit! 

Need. To.
Big time.

I miss Sawybean being this little. 

All she wanted to do was snuggle. And coo. And be as close to you as possible! Now she's starting to just want her mother. Sad. That won't last forever though (hopefully!). I'm thinking of blowing up a picture of myself for both her and Little Miss so that they remember who I am when I am in Africa. Seven weeks seems like a lifetime! Especially for little babies! I hope they don't forget who I am.

I didn't go to the gym this evening because I have had a headache all day. I am a pansy when it comes to headaches. I hate them!! Probably because they sometimes turn into migraines. Like at my brother's wedding reception when I thought I had a dehydration headache so I drank 12 glasses of water (literally) and spent my evening squinting against whatever light was around and vomiting up everything that was in my stomach... and then some.

Erik's sister is due in less than a month and I really wish we could go visit her family once the little babe comes, but that won't happen any time in the foreseeable future. We visited them three years ago (has it really been that long??) and it was delightful. I was looking through our pictures from that trip and it made me want to visit even more. The picture below is from December 2007... our nephew decided to draw all over himself. What a cutie!

My girlfriend is getting married in August and we've been looking at wedding things. It makes me wish I could have our wedding all over again! I never even thought to look for decorating ideas online! Crazy, I know, but it never occurred to me. There are some really neat ideas out there! And simple too. She's getting married in her parent's backyard, which I think is very cool. It is going to be an absolutely gorgeous wedding. We're going dress shopping next Friday! I can't wait!

I have started collecting doilies to make myself one of these. 

I think it is gorgeous! Too bad I have no windows to hang it in front of. I figure I won't have enough doilies by this Christmas anyway so I will save them up for next year. I think it's absolutely lovely. 

Speaking of crafting... I also want to make this. I may be able to do this over the holiday, but we'll have to see. I love how simple it is.

This year my family is having a baking exchange. My immediate family only, but I need to think of a recipe that I can make in mass quantities!! I need 8 dozen of whatever I'm doing (or the equivalent).  Any ideas??

yumminess

Erik hates this salad, but I love it. I may be the only one, but that's enough for me!! The best part is that it takes only five minutes to make.

Tuna Salad

• Tuna
• Chick peas (or soybeans, or black beans)
• Onion
• Lemon Juice
• Cilantro

Mix however much of whatever you want. And eat! Delicious!!

this makes me smile

but who doesn't love a little lion bum??

you know you're lazy when

• you're working on a group project and emailing things to each other... even though you're in the same room and could just walk the five feet required to show whatever it is you're emailing.
• you're still in your bathrobe (do they call it that anymore) with a towel on your head even though you showered four hours ago.
• you ate yogurt for breakfast, again, because you didn't feel like opening a cupboard and pulling the toaster out.
• you have an exam in 45 hours and you haven't even cracked open a book (ok that's just being stupid).
• you've accumulated four cups of water by your computer because bringing your dishes back to the kitchen is just more effort than you can muster.
• you feel productive after writing out this list.

it's going to be a long day.

exercise

Well, it has been three weeks. Three whole weeks of working out and I am starting to enjoy it. It may be more accurate to say that it doesn't take as much energy to convince myself to go anymore. You know? I have done hardly any cardio. Did my first cycle class this week and I wanted to rip my lungs out of my chest. I couldn't even do what the instructor asked us to do, I just made sure my feet kept moving. I didn't even increase the tension, I just kept on keeping on. It will get better. It has to!

So far I like sculpt the best. I like it because it's a variety of exercises and you can push yourself as much (or as little) as you want to. I find that I am more willing to push myself in core exercises than in legs. Squats and lunges are definitely not my favorite things. I'm more of a team sport kinda girl so this whole gym thing is a bit difficult for me.

I've been far too frightened to get on the scale. I'm sure it won't show much change, but Erik assures me that my breasts are getting smaller. At least there's a change somewhere! And let's be honest, I do have some to spare.

hilarious!

erik's siblings...

the jansen in-laws...

opa, hailey, zachary, jonathan and justin

the jansen ladies...

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

*** *** ***

a pincushion

I had my vaccinations for Africa today and I don't feel unlike a pincushion. I thankfully only had to get four. I opted out of others - the flu shot and pertussis. I still have to go get my blood tested to see if my old Hep B vaccine actually worked and I need to get my oral vaccinations - dukoral and typhoid. It was an expensive day. Now I feel tired, but I don't think that has anything to do with the vaccinations. I'm just tired.

I'm planning on having a pretty relaxed weekend. I only have one final to study for so I'm going to bake, sew, knit, study, and hang out with people I love. It will be delightful!

Wishing all of you a lovely weekend.

Mindfulness

We have a class in nursing that we all like to call "Feelings". It is actually called Self and Others, but is a class where we essentially talk about ourselves and our feelings, hence the name feelings. I may be the only person in the program who actually enjoys the class, but at the moment that is beside the point.

Today was our last day of class and to finish off the year we all did creative presentations. Presentations included everything from paper cranes to paintings to songs. It was actually a lot of fun to see what people came up with. There are some very creative people in my program!

Two of my friends made a video based on the following poem. I have asked them to send me the link to their video so I can post it later if you want to see it for yourself. It was very well done. At the end of their presentation they handed out copies of the poem they used and, because I appreciated the poem myself, I have decided to post it here for you to enjoy. 

***

Mindfulness

Have you ever had the experience of stopping so completely,

Of being in your body so completely,

Of being in your life so completely,

That what you knew and what you didn't know,

That what had been and what was yet to come,

And the way things are right now,

No longer held even the slightest hint of anxiety or discord,

A moment of complete presence beyond striving,

Beyond mere acceptance,

Beyond the desire to escape or fix anything or plunge ahead,

A moment of pure being,

No longer in time,

A moment of pure seeing,

Pure feeling,

A moment in which life simply is,

And that 'is-ness' grabs you by all your senses,

All your memories,

By your very genes,

By your loves,

And welcomes you home,

That is a taste of mindfulness.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

...

Tomorrow is the last day of classes for the semester. I am partly excited, but also a little bit saddened. The end of college looms before me and I don't know if I'm ready for it. I love being in school. My life is so simple. School is predictable, comfortable, and safe. I'm not ready to take on the responsibilities of being a full-fledged member of the workforce.

i love being an "auntie"

I got to babysit Sawyer for a couple hours yesterday. It was more of a playdate. I asked her mommy if she could come over after church for a couple hours. She's just getting to the age where she is starting to want her Mama... and she didn't like Auntie's house so much at first, but a mirror and some books fixed that.

I seriously love her! I wish I had all the time in the world to play with her, but school and work take up so much of my time. And then I have a husband who needs attention and love.

I love being an auntie. It's the best thing ever! I get to devote so much attention to my babies and I get to give my girlfriends a break. I think it's a win-win-win for all of us. Sawyer does love me, despite her face in the picture below. This was about the time that she was doing the double eye rub and needing to go down for a nap.

We read some books together and then snuggled to sleep. There is nothing more lovely than snuggling a warm, squishy, little baby as you both drift off to sleep!

Erik even joined us and passed out promptly. He thinks he didn't, but his twitching and snoring were sure signs of unconsciousness!

Then tonight I got to spend some time with Maelle. The poor girl has been sick and her first tooth just broke through on Saturday. She has been miserable. Poor little thing! And her Mama is sick too. Sad! So we hung out for a while and played on the floor and then I rocked her to sleep as she cried on my shoulder. I came home with two huge wet spots on my shoulders. When I say huge, I mean wet spots halfway down the front of my shirt. That little girl can drool!!!

I decided that I had better hang out with my girls because the next two weeks are going to be ridiculously busy! The end of semester always is. The thing I am dreading most is vaccinations on Thursday. I think I need six or seven of them. And I hate needles. I can dole them out just fine, but I hate getting them.

Anyway. It's time for me to go to bed. Goodnight.