P+A

I have started this entry fifteen times over and no words seem quite right. I am speechless and crying (always crying) so I will just say this:

My sister, Lindsey, is amazing! I am more proud of her than I could ever say. She rocks my world and I am in awe of what she is capable of. Yesterday, on August 1, 2012, she delivered two of the most beautiful girls into the world -- one head first and one feet first. We (my mother and other sister) were with her while she laboured and then she was whisked off to the OR to push them on out (standard precaution). The girls are healthy and got to stay with their ma and pa.

We gave the new family some time to adjust to each other and went and met the girlies just today. Sharlene and I arrived this morning and Lindsey introduced us to her daughters, Peyton Ashley and Avery Sharlene -- named after their two favourite and best aunties.

There were many tears, as you can imagine. Many hugs and kisses. Snuggles. Sniffs. Then some more tears. So, without further ado, here are the ladies of the hour (day, month, year, decade):

 Peyton Ashley                    Avery Sharlene

Born at 1950                       Born at 1957

6lbs 2oz.                             6lbs 15oz.

19.00 inches long                19.25 inches long

Head First                            Feet First

 Proud Mama.

 Proud Aunties.

 Love my baby girls.

 Big E came for a visit. 

 Words cannot even begin to describe how this feels. Amazing.

 Love. Them.

 Mama admiring her handiwork. Who can blame her?

 

So happy. So very happy.

We are all over the moon in love with these little people. We are thrilled that they have arrived... thankful they are healthy... and excited to show them just how loved they are.

from my younger years

My parent's are moving to Kelowna tomorrow.

T.o.m.o.r.r.o.w.

Yes, I did just say that my parent's are moving to Kelowna tomorrow.

But that's not what I came here to write. In light of their impending move here they have been bringing boxes out this way. Some of these boxes hold my own personal history. I looked through one box this morning that held Sunday School artwork, stories and a few things from grade one and two. Most of these things are being tossed (sorry mama), but I laughed out loud multiple times as I shuffled through the contents of said box.

I found a journal from grade one and two. You know, the kind the teacher makes you write in. I thought I would share a few things I wrote in that journal.

December 13, 1993 - this is a Pickhr uv my tehr I love my tehr very very muh sey is very nuis to me and I am very nuis to her

January 4, 1994 - for holadays I went to edmintin to bring my bruthr Bac to Kings kolij I have lots uv anteys and onkols and cusins lots of pepole I know

January 18, 1994 - my cLass got are cLass pictures tocin to day I was werreing my Green jresce and my penk reing to Latanya loct prite But my techr loct the priteist then thim. I love you. 

September 20, 1994 - When we weer at the ferr I made a rice crispe clown I got in secend. I got frists secends theerds no thank you for partisapading

February 7, 1995 - I like the forest Boys chase me and Jill (I don't know who Jill is... but I think that's what it says). When you were in school did boys chase you? Last time they said they will Kiss us. they get grade fours to help them. They chase us in the forest. We have to run threw mud. I have cot Jill before Tony allmast kissed her. We like them chasing us. It's fun. I like it.

Ugh. Is it okay that my eight year old self embarrasses me?

Little Miss is Two.

Maelle Mai turned two on Friday. Two years old. A-mazing! Erik and I made it out to her birthday party on Friday. She seemed pretty excited to see him as it has been well over a month since they last played together.

I can't believe it has already and only been two years since this little girl came into our lives. It feels like just yesterday (or maybe last week) that I was supporting Milena as she laboured for hours and hours in an attempt to bring this little (10lb 9oz) darling into the world. And, at the same time, it feels as though I have loved her forever.

I have loved being an auntie to Maelle -- she makes it so easy to adore her. She continues to have a delightful and rambunctious personality. I love when she plunks herself down in my lap with whatever toy she is playing with or whatever book she is reading. And I especially love it when she comes just for a cuddle. She has an impressive grasp of linguistics and is full of giggles, kisses, hugs and joy.

Maelle takes a little while to wake up and I hear her playing in her bed for a while. I can tell when she is getting restless and ready to come out and if I don't go in to get her quickly enough she cries. She goes from happily playing to tears in a split second and it makes me laugh and means I get the best snuggles when I retrieve her. If I go in before the tears she will look up from whatever she is doing and say "Oh hi Auntie Ashley". It's pretty adorable.

Maelle will sometimes ask for something without saying please and when I say "what do you say??" she will repeat back "what do you say??" without even thinking because she is so used to repeating what people say to her. So instead of just asking I have had to repeat the full sentence back to her with please tacked on the end so she will say it.

Like any two-year-old, Maelle makes frequent attempts to establish her independence. She can be defiant and does not like being told no (but then who does?). When she is frustrated with me she frowns and refuses to make eye contact. She cries when she doesn't get her way and when she is tired. Distractions and redirection works wonders when she is frustrated and time-outs seem to be rather effective when she needs discipline.

Little Miss has an impressive grasp of linguistics and is full of giggles, kisses, hugs and joy. Oh! Another one of my favourite things is conversations that go like this:

LM: canahafdoos?

Me: What do you want?

LM: canahafdoos?

Me: You want some juice?

LM: Okay! 

(little does she know I never have juice in the house)

This happens multiple times a day; Maelle will ask for something and then act like I was offering it when I clarify. What a stinker.

Maelle Mai, I love you something fierce. You are and will always be welcome at Auntie's house. You make me smile, you warm my heart and you make me feel loved. You are playful and sweet and entirely adorable. We love you so very much and are so thankful to be a part of your life. Happy Birthday!

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

*** *** ***

I know it's blurry, but I like it!

J+R

Well, I only have a few pictures of the bride and groom... and they are dancing in every one of them. I decided that it's the photographer's job to take photos of the bride and groom so I stuck to family ones.

Little Hailey was the flower girl. She was adorable!! Rachael's nephew was the ring bearer and he decided to sit down halfway down the aisle. Apparently Hailey looked back at her mama and said, "uh oh, Levi fell down!". She then turned around, saw Anthony and yelled "Daddy!!!" as she ran down the aisle to him. He married Joel and Rachael so he was conveniently at the end of the aisle. 

Hailey was a hoot! She jumped and twirled and danced the night away. She warms this Auntie's house because she is always so excited to see me. She is excited to see everyone, but that doesn't make it any less endearing. I can still see her scooting across the carpet to jump into my arms even when she had no idea who I was. And she's hilarious to boot.

And Jessica and Kaitlyn... I still cannot believe how beautifully grown-up these nieces of mine are. They aren't little girls anymore. Keeps is heading to grade 12 and Jess is coming to Kelowna to start her BSN. And they are gorgeous!

I love weddings, especially Jansen Family weddings. Not to toot our own horns, but we do weddings right. At least we do receptions right. Okay okay, I may be exaggerating a bit, but we do have fun. We entertain ourselves at the very least and embarrass our new in-laws at the most.

We have a tradition at weddings. Sharlene sadly missed out as many of us were merely infants when she married Brian. Our ages ranged from 16 months to 20 years (I was only five). But I digress. Our tradition is that we write an ABC for the individual getting married. We usually throw in a couple other skits or speeches or games, but the ABC has become a constant. This ABC has often been written around a campfire the night before the wedding (which is loads of fun, as you can imagine), but due to the lack of proximity to each other, we have started writing bits and pieces months in advance whenever we see each other. The writing of said ABC is the most fun, but we also enjoy sharing it with the individual it is written about.

I was going to give a few examples from my wedding, but after reading over them I don't know if they would be appropriate. Maybe I will post them sometime, but I'm not brave enough today. And this is about Joel and Rachael's wedding, after all.

We threw in "Guess the Chest" at the reception. Rachael was blindfolded and had to feel each of my brothers' chests and decide which belonged to her husband. She guessed wrong. We were going to play "Canadian Bacon", but didn't know how well received it would be if Rachael had to grab each of my brother's derrieres.

It was a wonderful wedding filled with laughter and love. Rachael was stunning. Joel was handsome. And they are finally finally husband and wife. We couldn't be happier for them.

one last time

I stopped off at the homestead on my way to Joel's wedding. Actually, I went to my in-laws in Western Washington first to see Erik and then we came up to see the homestead.

It was strange to see it packed up in boxes. Every drawer and cupboard was empty. The shelves had nothing on them. Dressers and shelving units packed away in the garage. Even my parent's bed was disassembled (they were sleeping in the trailer). The kitchen and the garage were both a mountain of carefully labelled boxes. It was strange. And unreal. And I didn't really like it.

It was surreal to walk through the house thinking "this is the last time I will ever set foot in here".  You know? My parent's keep saying a house is just a house. And it is. But it's our house. And it houses many precious memories. Memories that are more easily evoked when sitting in the rooms they were created in.

One thing I realized (and that I find funny) is that in my head the rooms are still delegated to their original owners. Or at least the original owners as far as I can remember. For example, the rooms above the garage belong to Sharlene and to Lindsey and me. The room above the kitchen is still Joel and Anthony's and the room by my parent's belongs to Zachary, Jonathan, Justin and Benjamin. Sharlene hasn't lived in that house for 20 years and yet her room is still her room to me. I haven't slept in "my room" in 7 years and yet it is still my room to me (Zachary took it over and then Justin jumped in when he left).

We had a good little visit with my family. Jonathan and Courtney were in town for the wedding so we had dinner at my parent's house. I don't know what Zac, Jon and E are laughing about, but this is a pretty typical scene when all the boys get together.

This is also typical. Dinner outside while someone is swimming in the pool and everyone is laughing and chatting away. Man I'm going to miss that pool! I'd love for my parent's to get one here in K-town, but they don't really have room for it in their new yard.

And laughing around the fire at night. On this particular night we were reminiscing and probably discussing our various little diddy's for the wedding.

And just because. Benjamin took a self portrait and I think it's cute.

well worth the wait.

I traveled down to the coast this weekend to see my husband who returned from fishing in Alaska and (more importantly??) to attend Joel and Rachael's wedding. After 11.9 years they have finally made it down the aisle!! And we couldn't be happier for them. I can assure you there will be more pictures to come, but for now I will leave you with these few. 

Most of the Jansen ladies. Lindsey is 35 weeks pregnant with twins so she stayed home. Jen was caring for her little ones. And Rachael was busy being a bride.

Erik rocked a braid at the wedding, compliments of my niece. He kept it all night... and I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Two of my brothers were M.C.'s for the night. I thought they were hilarious, but I have always thought they were funny. You would have to ask someone not related to me for an honest opinion.

And, of course, the bride and groom sharing their first dance as husband and wife. I must say that it was a pretty perfect wedding, which is exactly what they deserved. It was well worth the wait.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Wishing you a lovely weekend!
 

*** *** ***

be a traveler

source: revelment

Five Sleeps

I get to see my beloved husband in five sleeps! Well, it will actually only four sleeps because I'll be working two of the nights and I'll be missing at least one period of sleep because of that. And I get to talk to him on Monday because he'll be at his parent's house in Washington. I'll be joining him on Thursday as my brother is getting married next Saturday.

As I mentioned before, I have had a difficult time with Erik being gone this time around. I was feeling nostalgic and decided to look at a few of the photos I have of him. 

I like my husband. I love him dearly and I truly enjoy his company. I'm so glad he convinced me to date him. I can't say there was ever a moment when I knew that Erik was the one for me, but there were many little things along the way that convinced me that he was a wonderful man.

I distinctly remember the moment above -- Erik reading my nephews a bedtime story. My heart swelled as I sat listening to him and watching them stare at him adoringly.

I really do love this man. My Mama loves him too.

I mean, how could I not?? He cuddles babies while I warm up their bottles.

He dances with my niece in my parent's kitchen.

He makes gingerbread baby pancakes just to humour me. 

He will do anything to make someone laugh -- especially little ones. This sometimes backfires and he actually ends up scaring them...

He's thoughtful and he puts flowers in the girls' hair.

He's got a cute butt.  He is so so so so so good with kids. 

And I think he is adorable.

Five sleeps.

it's finally here

Summer  has finally arrived and I couldn't be happier about it! The temperature (as far as I know) has reached 41 degrees celcius and I'm loving it. I have taken up having a "sweat rag" with me. It's something I picked up when I was in Ghana and it has made my life that much more wonderful. I hate touching my face a thousand times a day wiping away my sweat-stache and brushing away the sweat that is dripping into my eyes (attractive, I know) so I carry around a bandana that I use to wipe away that sweat. I find it much more effective than using my already-sweaty-hand to attempt the same feat. That sweat rag is life-changing. Seriously.

In other news, one of the bathing suits I purchased didn't fit. Apparently I underestimated my size so I have to return it. I may keep the bottom and order another top, but I'm afraid the size up may be too big and then I'm stuck with the bottoms. It's a dilemma! I'm still waiting on the other bathing suit, but I'm not holding my breath. I may just need to have a bathing suit that is a tiny bit too big. Or I just need to lose some more weight in the chest region. Have I ever mentioned that I hate bathing suit shopping??

Mandi's husband was out of town this week too so I spent most of my days off with her and the kiddos. We went to the water park, the community garden, and hung out poolside at her aunt and uncle's house. It was lovely. Can I just say that two-year-olds are so much fun!

The little ones. Aren't they sweet??

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

*** *** ***

ugh.

I have a really ugly vein. I probably have many ugly veins, but this particular one is my least favourite.

See there on my forehead?? Yup, right there in the middle. That vein is the bane of my existence (dramatic much??). It isn't actually, but it does annoy me.

Do any of you have giant veins smack dab in the middle of your foreheads?

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday Ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Wishing you a work-less weekend!  

*** *** ***

 

anything but glamorous

I used to think Nursing would be a glamorous career. The reality is, it is anything but. I learned this sad fact in my first year of school and it is something that I am daily reminded of.

My very first experience in the clinical setting was at a care home. It was 0630 and a client was ringing in the bathroom as I stepped off the elevator -- a literal thirty seconds after I entered the building. Did I mention it was my very first day in any clinical setting??

Being an aspiring nurse (and a naive individual) I walked up to see what said client needed. I opened the bathroom door to find stool seeping towards me. My memory tells me it was gushing towards me, but I like to think I'm wrong. Some of the facts are blurry, but these things stand out clearly in my mind:

1. there was poop up the walls behind the toilet.

2. there was poop all over the client. All. Over. The. Client. 

3. there was poop seeping under the door.

4. there was poop everywhere.

5. I gagged for an hour straight while I cleaned up the lady.

I decided right then and there that I was not cut out for this job.

When I say I gagged for an hour straight I do not mean discreet little gags. I'm talking full on disgustingly embarrassing gagging. Gagging so hard your eyes are watering, you can taste bile in your mouth, your stomach is in knots, your throat is on fire, you can't breathe, and nurses are coming from down the hall because you are so outrageously loud. That kind of obnoxious gagging. And imagine a stool-storm that takes an entire hour to clean up. Seriously -- an entire hour. I was so overwhelmed that I had no idea where to start. I had to chant "clean to dirty, clean to dirty, clean to dirty, clean to dirty" in my head over and over and over again so I would keep working rather than melting into a gagging mess. It was awful.

It doesn't help that the helpless old lady kept trying to touch me with her stool-covered fingers.

I remember calling Erik when I got home and crying on the phone. I was ready to quit nursing then and there. I could still taste poop even hours later.  I can taste poop now just thinking about it. I gagged when I had a bowel movement of my own that evening because I was so traumatized by that experience (tmi??). I gag thinking about it. It was disgusting.

And nursing hasn't gotten much better since then. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job, but it really is anything but glamorous. I still gag every time I help clean someone up. Still. After doing it for five years. It's not as embarrassing anymore because I have learned to tame the beast that is my gag reflex, but it still happens every single time.

Oh nursing. What did I get myself into??

my hands (and my heart) were full.

These three little rascals sure kept me busy. They were all in bed by 8, but by that time I didn't want to do the dishes... or anything else for that matter. I just wanted to sit on the front steps drinking my tea. Props to all you mama's out there who manage to keep a clean house. I think that mine will be a pig sty when I eventually have babies of my own.

I may have caught Sawyer climbing into Maelle's play pen this morning. I heard her softly calling, "Auntie, help pease" so I went into their room to find her straddling the play pens. She got herself stuck and needed my help to get down. I took her out so as not to disturb Maelle who was still fast asleep. What a goof ball.

 Grunty Gus is less grunty, but still exiled to the living room. The boy can roll!! It's hilarious to come into a room and not know where the baby is. I found him in a couple strange places -- under the couch and stuck between the dresser and the seat.

 And Little Miss probably said my name 500 times while she was here. "Ok Auntie Ashley" "Auntie Ashley" "Hi Auntie Ashley" "Auntie Ashley, ok." Constant and cute. I love it and find it absolutely adorable.

I'm off to bed because I have to work in the morning. I haven't been asleep before midnight on any of my days off so I am in trouble -- 0530 comes early.

blessed

I am so incredibly blessed to have friends who let me borrow their children. I currently have these three little one's sleeping over. And yes, Sawyer is smothering Kaden.

A few of my favourite moments...

When I put the girls in their room to nap Maelle quickly fell asleep, but Sawyer just kept singing "Auntie, Auntie, Auntie". After a while I came in to put her in my room for some quiet time (it seems she doesn't always need to nap). When I opened the door to transport her she said "Shhhhhhhh, Maelle sleeping".

Kaden fell asleep at 7:30 so I went to lay him down. When I came out of my room the girls were jumping on the couch chanting "I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry!" They ate so much food today! They ate as much as I did at supper AND they had about four snacks afterwards. You go girls!

The girls played hide-and-seek in my little pantry cupboard for about an hour today. Sawy just danced in the cupboard and Maelle ran from the living room to the kitchen over and over giggling like crazy.

I had to go shush the girls after I put them to bed tonight. Sawyer was calling for me, but when I opened the door she pretended to be sleeping (what a brat). The girls fell asleep after about 30 minutes -- not too shabby for little buddies whose play pens are pushed up against each other.

And, of course, the spontaneous affection. Sawyer and Maelle both randomly came up to me and kissed me, held my hand, hugged me or just hollered "Auntie!!!!!!"

Man, I love these kids. 

just what i needed

a little reading. a few peas (fresh from the garden). 

and a little boy (his mama, and his big sister).

planning on more of the same tomorrow.